


The Endless Ocean

by XpaperplaneX



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Might and Magic VIII
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Crossover, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-22 09:50:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2503490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XpaperplaneX/pseuds/XpaperplaneX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cloud has spent the last five years wondering who he is and where he came from. He's travelled the continents of Enroth and Erathia in search of answers, and now he's arrived in Jadame. An unfortunate accident causes him to wake up with a head injury on board the <i>Black Materia</i>, whose captain is terrifyingly familiar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Despite all logic, I've decided to post this and hope the pressure inspires me to finish it off in November. This was my Nano project last year, and I totally hit the 50K mark. I've been working on it off and on since then. It's a crossover AU with Might and Magic 8, but I'm hoping it won't matter too much if you haven't played it. *fingers crossed*

Cloud hefted his sword and looked around the small town that housed the main population of Dagger Wound Islands. Lizard folk were the primary citizens, and their location in Jadame suited them perfectly. The air was hot and muggy, and the ground squished under Cloud's feet if he stepped off the road.

"Got a plan for the night?" his partner in the guard, Kunsel, asked.

"I assume there's an inn," Cloud replied, glancing around. "Did the caravan master say anything to you?"

"Just up the hill over there." Kunsel pointed at a larger raised building up a gentle slope. "It's the only one, apparently."

"That's my plan, then. Want to split a room?"

"Sure, I've got to get my pay still. Meet you there?"

"Sounds good. I'll grab a room before they fill up." Cloud readjusted First Tsurugi and headed up the hill, dodging a couple of lizard children who were chasing a hoop down it.

He got a room for himself and Kunsel, then sat down in the tavern area, pondering what he was going to do next. Jadame was unfamiliar to him, which was why he had signed on with the caravan. It was a good way to travel without incurring a lot of expenses, and he kept hoping that something would jog his memory. He had toured the continents of Erathia and Enroth in the past three years, but neither of them had provided any answers to the mystery of his past. No one had recognized him, and nothing stood out to him, either.

Everything from before five years ago was a complete blank. All he knew was the name of the sword that had been strapped to his back, and that he could use it, though no blacksmith he had spoken to could identify the metal that had been used to forge the strange, six-part blade. He could also use magic, though many of his spells were different from the standard ones the mages here used.

Sighing, he turned to his tankard and took a large drink, draining half of it. There were never any answers at the bottom, but there were often fewer questions.

A deep rumble that seemed to come from somewhere under the earth suddenly drowned out the tavern noise, and then the ground lurched under Cloud's feet, nearly knocking him off his chair. He stumbled to his feet as the entire building shook, the beams overhead swaying dangerously. Screams erupted from outside, and Cloud ran for the door, not wanting to remain inside if the building was going to come down.

Chaos was everywhere in the streets; people were milling about in confusion while the ground continued to quake. A sulphurous smell was in the air, and it stung at his eyes and nose. Glancing up, Cloud saw a thick black cloud of ash erupting from the mountain located in the middle of the island. It was beginning to blot out the sky and Cloud quickly pulled his shirt up to cover his nose and mouth. He saw one of the children he had noticed earlier out in the swampy area; she had fallen and wasn't getting back up as large rocks rained down around her.

Cloud sprinted towards the girl, dodging rocks as he ran, and snatched her up off the ground. "Come on, we've got to get away from here."

The girl clung to him, her sobbing was making anything she might have said incoherent. Cloud turned to go back to the town, but his foot sank into the ground up to his knee and he swore loudly.

"Run to the fountain by the merchant house," Cloud said to the girl, taking her by the shoulders and giving her a shake to make her pay attention. "Stay away from the buildings and look for an adult. Go, quickly now!" He shoved her hard in the direction of the town; the open area around the merchant's house would probably be safest. It seemed like the debris from the volcano wasn't reaching that far, and there was nothing nearby that would fall.

As the girl ran off, Cloud turned his attention to getting himself unstuck. His leg was firmly entrenched in the thick mud that resisted his every effort to pulling it out. He reached for a root from a nearby tree to get some leverage, but something struck the back of his head and the world span. He barely felt the second strike, but he lost his grip on the root and collapsed in the mud.

***

"Move him to my cabin and call for Hojo."

Cloud stirred and tried to identify the source of the voice. It was vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place a name to it. Attempting to open his eyes made his skull throb painfully, so he kept the shut and groaned.

"Your cabin, Captain? Why?"

"Just do it, Zack. I don't need to explain myself to you."

The ground lurched under him, and his head throbbed again as the world faded to black once more.

***

"Hey, wake up. You've slept long enough, don't you think?"

"Don't shake him. His brain is probably bruised. You'll damage it more if you're rough with him."

"I didn't even touch him. Cloud, wake up."

He was moving. It was a gentle, rolling motion that made his stomach feel like it was going to turn inside out.

"Please stop," he croaked out.

"Stop what?"

"Gonna be sick."

"Shit, I thought you cured yourself of that. Hand me that bucket, would you?"

Cloud felt hands on him, rolling him over and lifting his head.

"Do you know him?"

Puzzling out the different voices proved too strenuous for his current mental capacity and Cloud heaved. Whatever they were saying above him was lost as he emptied the contents of his stomach while someone held his hair out of his face.

Eventually the heaving stopped, and he was settled back onto the bed he was lying on. The rolling motion hadn't stopped, but it wasn't quite as bad as it had been.

"Do you think he's likely to be sick again?"

"It's probable. That head injury is bad, but there's nothing more I can do for it. Make sure he's on his side and give him some water. I still don't understand why you're keeping him here."

"He'll die in the brig, won't he?"

"Most likely."

"That's why, then."

Cloud drifted off to the sounds of the men arguing.

When he woke next he had a vague recollection of someone helping him hover his head over a bucket at various points. Now, however, his head was feeling significantly better, and he bravely cracked his eyes open, squinting in the bright sunlight that was pouring in through a small window next to him. He struggled to sit up and felt something heavy weighing on his left ankle. Glancing down, he realized that he was manacled to the end of the bed.

He took careful stock of his surroundings. The tiny room appeared to be a cabin on a ship, which made sense given that everything was still moving. It was vacant for now. His sword was leaning against the wall in a corner by the door, and a water skin lay on a sea chest next to the bed. He quickly grabbed it, drinking thirstily. When his throat was feeling less parched, he found a chamber pot under the bed, then Cloud took another look at the manacle attached to his ankle.

It was cheap iron, and would be easy enough to break if he weakened it with a frost spell, so the question became whether or not he wanted to get free. A look out the window showed him nothing but the open ocean; escaping wasn't likely to prove very fruitful unless he used magic, and he didn't think that would be a good idea at the moment. It was rather likely that he'd just lose himself in the ether, sick as he was. Besides, his head had been bandaged, and it appeared that he had been cared for while he was out. It was possible that he would be released if he wasn't a threat. He arranged the thin pillow behind his back and leaned against it, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I want to keep the pressure on them. This is the perfect opportunity to expand the empire," a male voice was saying as the door to the cabin banged open, startling Cloud awake. "Oh, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

Cloud couldn't stop staring at the man dressed in black leather armour with long flowing silver hair. He struggled for words, for some way to voice the overwhelming feelings of fear and devotion that were coursing through him. 

"Leave us," the man said sharply to the person waiting in the doorway. Cloud caught a glimpse of spiked black hair before the door shut and he was alone with someone out of a long-forgotten nightmare.

"Do I know you?" he whispered, not daring to voice his suspicion any louder than that.

"Cloud ..."

"How do you know my name?"

"The question is, do you know mine?" The man sat down on the edge of the bed, sweeping his hair over his shoulder, and Cloud wasn't sure if he wanted to push himself away or move closer.

He shook his head, wincing at the throbbing pain the movement caused. "No ... should I?"

The man shrugged. "I suppose it's enough that you recognize me. I'm the Lord of Regna, Emperor of the Endless Ocean, Captain of the _Black Materia_." He paused for a long moment before speaking again. "Sephiroth."

Cloud threw himself back against the wall, dragging the chain with him and fighting the urge to throw up again. He knew that name, he was certain he knew it, but he was also certain he didn't want to. "I don't remember."

"I think you do, though I wouldn't blame you if you intentionally forgot it."

"No, no, I don't know who you are." That name invoked nothing but thoughts of pain and suffering. He didn't want to even consider where he might have heard it in the past.

"Your sword ..." Sephiroth looked over at the corner where the blade was standing.

"What about it?

"Do you know its name?"

Cloud nodded, wondering how the man knew it had a name. He hadn't told it to anyone.

"I'm going to write it down, then tell me what you call it. If they match, I'm going to insist that you listen to what I say." He reached for a piece of parchment and tore off a corner, writing something while he was turned away from Cloud. "What's its name?"

"First ... First Tsurugi," he whispered. There was no way that anyone would guess that. No way.

Sephiroth handed him the parchment without changing his expression and Cloud unfolded it with trembling hands. This wasn't what he had hoped for when he went searching for someone who would recognize him. This was all wrong. He turned the parchment over and stared in horror at the words scrawled on it in sharp, angular letters: _First Tsurugi_.

"What do you want from me?"

"Cloud ... my dearest puppet ... I want to start again."

Puppet ... he heard a cruel laugh ringing through his ears, as clear as the sounds of the ship's crew just outside the room. Cloud fought back another bout of nausea that had nothing to do with either the movement of the ship or the blow to his head. How could he have forgotten? Sephiroth, the Nightmare, his old enemy was sitting right next to him and he hadn't done a thing to defend himself.

"I killed you," he whispered, not wanting to believe that the man was back yet again.

"You tried," Sephiroth pointed out. "And I did the same to you on several occasions. But I was hoping we could move past all that."

Cloud shook his head. "No, I killed you. I had to ... you would have destroyed everything ... you killed Aerith."

"Would it help to know that your flower girl is alive and well and living under my protection?"

"I watched you kill her ... and did nothing."

"Cloud." Sadness appeared to creep into Sephiroth's expression, and his hand reached out towards Cloud, but stopped when he jerked away. "I don't know what happened, or why we're here. I suspect that the Lifestream finally had enough of us and our constant battles. But we're all here, on Enroth, even the people who died. You were the last one I was looking for."

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked, feeling bewildered. Who all was here?

"I'm going to get you something to eat," Sephiroth finally said after staring at him for several moments, "and I'll tell you what I've been doing for the last five years. Then you can decide if you want to pick up where we left off or not. Try to remember as much as you can while I'm getting your food."

***

Sephiroth shut the door quietly behind him, allowing himself to lean against it and breathe a small sigh of relief. Cloud remembered. Maybe not everything, not yet, but something was better than nothing. The years he had spent hoping to find someone who remembered Gaia and Shinra and SOLDIER had been the loneliest he had ever experienced. Seeing people he had once called his comrades ... or his enemies, but having them remember nothing was painful, even if it was also for the best.

"Captain! Are you done talking to the prisoner yet?" Zack's long spikes of black hair were swept to one side by the wind, and his armour was different from a SOLDIER's uniform, but he otherwise appeared to be the exact same man whose death Sephiroth had inadvertently caused. 

"He's not a prisoner," Sephiroth said quietly. Regardless of what Cloud decided, Sephiroth wasn't going to hold him against his will. "I need to get him some food."

"The fact that you ordered him chained says something different. Sir, what's going on? You've never treated a prisoner like this before." Zack's face was clouded over with worry. "Do you know him?"

"I knew him a long time ago. Whether or not I still know him ..." Sephiroth shrugged and pushed himself away from the door. "Have you contacted the rest of the fleet?"

"I sent a message to Lockhart's ship; she's establishing a supply line for the ships at Dagger Wound. She'll relay the information to the rest. "

"Good. I want to begin building an outpost on that western island by the time the week is out. That volcano was the opportunity we were waiting for. I'd hate to not take advantage of it. And I need you to stay on deck for a while longer. I'm not done talking with ... the prisoner yet." Sephiroth made his way down to the ship's galley and yelled for a meal. Zack still followed him closely with his eyes, but didn't attempt to talk about his strange behaviour again.

When he opened the door to his cabin again, Cloud frantically wiped at his face with the back of his hands.

"How's your memory?" Sephiroth asked while he set the tray of food down on the sea chest and took a seat.

"Probably still messed up from Nibelheim and you fucking with me," he said shortly.

Sephiroth thought that was rather unfair—he had only ever attempted to tell Cloud the truth. But he didn't argue. Arguing wouldn't suit his purposes. "Eat," he said instead, gesturing at the tray. "Might as well take advantage of the fresh rations while we've got them."

"This is a long journey, I take it?" Cloud grabbed the tray and sniffed at it before he began to shovel food into his mouth.

"Actually no. We should arrive in Regna tomorrow in the late afternoon. I suppose I'm just used to saying that. I only came out because I wanted to see what was happening on Dagger Wound for myself. I'm glad I did, however. Zack would have thrown you in the brig. If he had rescued you at all."

"Zack?" Cloud choked on a crust of bread and spent several moments coughing. "Zack Fair?"

"He's my Quartermaster, and he takes over as Captain when I can't be on the ship, which is most of the time."

"Zack's alive?"

"He is. I ... I always regretted his death you know. I never intended ..."

"You stabbed him," Cloud said coldly. "What exactly did you intend?"

"Point taken." Sephiroth sighed, wondering how he was ever going to convince Cloud to work with him. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't remembered. A sleek white cat crawled out from beneath the bed and stretched, yawning widely. "Hello, Rufus." He patted his lap and the cat jumped up and began grooming itself.

"Rufus?"

"It didn't seem likely that he ended up here as well, though some of the Turks are, but the cat needed a name. If I meet him one day and he takes offense, well ... tough." Sephiroth shrugged. "Dark Nation should be around somewhere."

"You said you were going to tell me what you've been doing. How'd you wind up the Lord of Regna?"

"Simple." Sephiroth picked the cat up and set it down on the bed, then crossed his legs and smiled at Cloud. "I decided that destroying the world was not in my best interests. I'm going to rule it instead."

"Oh?"

"Well," Sephiroth hesitated, seeing the look on Cloud's face, "at least a corner of it. When I found myself here, I joined the Regnan Navy as a way to survive. Given my skills, it wasn't long until I was noticed by the lord at the time, the Dread Pirate Stanley. When he retired three years ago, I was given command of the empire and the fleet. I came across Zack when I was sailing under Stanley, and after I convinced him I wasn't crazy, we became friends again. He's had my back ever since."

Cloud snorted loudly. "How'd you manage that? Convincing him you're not crazy, that is."

"I'm not, Cloud. You've proved it. As for ... what happened, I truly am sorry. Mother ... Jenova ... she doesn't even know who I am. There's nothing for me here except a chance to start over."

"Jenova's here?"

Sephiroth nodded. "She lives in Regna without a clue as to who or what she was. Still entirely evil, mind you, but she's just an ordinary woman. She's a grandmaster of dark magic and teaches anyone brave enough to seek her out."

"I'm sorry. It must be hard having her not know you." Cloud's voice held a wistful tone, and Sephiroth moved over to the bed, laying his hand lightly on Cloud's arm.

"Don't be. You know it's for the best. It's just been lonely."

"Yeah, I know what that's like." Cloud reached out and touched a strand of Sephiroth's hair almost absently, like he didn't fully realize what he was doing. "You want me to join you, don't you?"

"Everyone else has." 

"You're leading an empire of pirates."

"Tax collectors. And Regna itself is a rather nice place. Is it really any more immoral than a council of necromancers? Or the dragon hunters? How about Erathia's constant attempts to wipe out the elves and take their lands? This world is different from Gaia, Cloud. You know it. There's no single faction that has power over all the others. I'm just one of the many factions."

Sephiroth sat quietly and waited while Cloud appeared to think it over, still playing with the strand of his hair. It reminded him of how Cloud used to like to touch it when he was a cadet in Shinra's army, and he wondered if Cloud remembered any of that. He rather doubted it. Those memories had probably been locked away after the incident at Nibelheim, never to resurface. He had certainly shown no sign of remembering while he was with AVALANCHE. Although, feelings that had once existed could certainly develop again.

"I want to see Zack," Cloud said, breaking the silence. "And Aerith."

"All right, Aerith is in Regna as well, but keep in mind, neither of them remember a thing. And Zack is ... perhaps a little different than you remember. I wasn't lying when I said he would have thrown you in the brig with a severe head injury."

"That's not something Zack would do."

"It is now. He's not the only one who's changed, I think, but I knew him the best. Anyway, you can see him, and perhaps you'll understand a little better what I mean."

Cloud nodded slowly and let go of Sephiroth's hair to pet the cat instead. "Will you take this chain off me?"

"Oh, yes, sorry. I forgot about that." Sephiroth rummaged through his desk for the key. "It was just a precaution. I didn't want you attacking me the instant you woke up."

"My head hurts too much for that." Cloud cracked a small smile and rubbed his ankle as soon as the chain was removed.

"Why don't you rest a bit for now? Zack isn't going anywhere."

"Yeah, all right, this has been kind of draining." Cloud moved back down on the bed and curled up on his side; Rufus immediately planted himself in the crook behind Cloud's knees, and Sephiroth noticed a black head peeking out from under the bed. It wouldn't be too long until Dark Nation would be making himself comfortable against Cloud's belly.

"Rest well, Cloud," he said softly as he let himself out of the cabin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this on a somewhat regular schedule. I also meant to work on finishing it this month. None of that happened and I blame Final Fantasy 14 in its entirety. It's a bad, bad game and you should never play it.

The window was dark when Cloud woke again, but Sephiroth was sitting at his desk with an oil lamp burning above him. 

"What time is it?" Cloud asked.

"Two hours into red watch." Sephiroth finished whatever he was doing and lay down the bit of charcoal he was holding before moving over to the bed.

"That means nothing to me."

"It's around eight pm. How do you feel?"

"Better than I was. Kind of hungry, though."

Sephiroth nodded. "Feeling up to leaving the bed? Zack's probably in the galley if you want to see him."

"Yeah, I want to. Can I ... I don't suppose there are bathroom facilities on board, are there?"

He imagined that the way Sephiroth laughed might have been how he laughed before Nibelheim, though Cloud couldn't imagine ever having met him before that. Still, it was a pleasant laugh, with none of the cruel undertones that Cloud remembered. "No, and I don't trust your balance at the moment to not fall overboard out on the craplines, either. Use the chamber pot for now. I'll wait outside for you."

Cloud wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know what a crapline was, and found himself feeling very glad that he had mostly avoided ships during his travels. Even the chamber pot was unpleasant now that he remembered the more modern facilities on Shinra's ships.

Sephiroth was leaning against the railing looking out over the sea when Cloud stepped out of the cabin. He breathed in the fresh sea air with a sigh of relief before taking a look around. The ship was far bigger than he had expected. There were at least twice as many crew on the deck as he had ever seen on the passenger ships he had taken, and they all seemed to be hard at work on tasks that Cloud only had the vaguest idea about. The ship itself was spotless and looked well-maintained; he doubted there was so much as a single rope out of place.

"Does my ship pass the inspection?" Sephiroth asked dryly. 

"Why's the crew so big?"

"Some people dislike paying taxes. A large, heavily armed crew encourages cooperation."

"Ah, of course." Cloud shook his head, unsurprised by the answer. He still wasn't sure what Sephiroth's game was. He didn't seem reformed, exactly, but he certainly wasn't the same man who had tried to destroy the planet.

"Come, let's go find Zack."

The galley was loud and full of activity. Instead of working, however, these crew members were eating, drinking, and gambling. A man stood and shouted as they entered, and Cloud's heart nearly stopped at the sight of him. He was a bit older, with a few more scars, but Zack looked the same as he had all those years ago.

"He doesn't remember you," Sephiroth said firmly, then pushed Cloud towards the table. "Someone bring us something to eat," he shouted as he sat down, pushing Cloud onto the bench next to him.

"You're letting him walk around?" Zack asked without even looking at Cloud.

"Yes. This is Cloud Strife," Sephiroth said. "Cloud, Zack Fair."

Cloud hesitantly offered his hand, feeling more nervous than he had when he first met Zack as a cadet. "Nice to meet you, sir."

Zack stared at him for a moment before roughly grabbing his hand and giving it a cursory shake. "Captain, can I talk to you?"

"Go ahead." Two trays were set down on the table in front of them and Sephiroth grabbed a fork and began eating.

"Privately."

"No. Cloud's an old acquaintance. Are you planning on killing me in my sleep?" he asked, turning to Cloud.

Cloud gulped and glanced over at Zack before answering. "Not tonight."

"Sabotaging the ship?"

"I wouldn't know where to begin."

"Stealing a smallboat and heading for land?"

"Only if you tell me which way land is first."

"It's fine, Zack." 

"So you might kill him tomorrow night and would sabotage the ship or take the chance to escape if you were competent? Good friend you are."

"I never said he was my friend. Just let him be." Sephiroth shoved half a potato into his mouth at once with a sort of finality meant to end the conversation.

"I probably won't kill you tomorrow night, either. Unless you try to kill me first." 

"See?" Sephiroth said around the potato.

Zack glared in a way that made Cloud's heart ache. Sephiroth had been right; Zack seemed different than he used to be. The man he knew would have made a joke about his responses, even if he didn't trust him. Still, he could tell that Zack was concerned about Sephiroth. He wondered what they had been through together, and what Zack's new life as a pirate had been like.

"Where are you from?" Zack asked suddenly.

He started to answer automatically, recalling their conversation in the snow about their hometowns' strange names. The sharp pain in his thigh when Sephiroth pinched him brought him back to his senses. "White Cap," he said, thinking of the small snowy town in Enroth that had reminded him of Nibelheim. 

Zack scoffed loudly and turned away from him.

"My head's really hurting," he whispered to Sephiroth, "can I go lie down again?"

Sephiroth looked at him and nodded, seeming to understand that he just needed to get away. "Go on. You can take your tray with you if you're still hungry."

"Sure you don't want to have Hojo look at him again?"

The tray tumbled out of Cloud's hands and landed with a loud clatter, spilling its contents everywhere. A chorus of cheers and clapping broke out. "Hojo?" He couldn't be here, he wasn't, he—

Sephiroth grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the galley, leaving the mess as it was. Cloud stumbled, attempting to keep up with Sephiroth's pace, but his mind was reeling in horror and he couldn't focus.

"He's here?"

"Shut up," Sephiroth snarled. He kept his tight grip on Cloud's arm until they were back in his cabin with the door shut. "He's here, and he's on this ship. Don't make any more of a fuss about it."

"No, no, no. He's dead. Sephiroth, please, we killed him. Tell me he's dead."

"Sorry." Sephiroth face softened and he gently nudged him onto the bed and sat next to him. "If it makes you feel any better, I reacted about the same way. Which means that Zack's going to be really suspicious now."

"Why is he here? On the _ship_? Shit! Did he do anything to me? Zack said 'again', didn't he?" Cloud found himself fighting back tears and nausea for the second time that day. He had an almost overwhelming urge to strip and check himself for new scars.

Sephiroth wrapped both arms around him and pinned him to his chest. "Calm down. I didn't leave you alone with him, and I didn't let him do anything but deal with your head. As for why he's here, he's the ship's doctor. I hired him so I could keep an eye on him."

"A doctor? He's a _doctor_? One that _helps_ people? I think I'd like to subscribe to your theory that the Lifestream's fucking with us."

"It's not without its merits. On the bright side, he shows very few signs of being a mad scientist apart from an unnatural curiosity regarding breeding monsters."

Cloud had to laugh at the utter bizarreness of the situation. Hojo was alive, Zack didn't like him, and Sephiroth was sitting next to him and hugging him while offering what little comfort he could. "Remind me to never wish for anything ever again. And if I get hit on the head again and forget everything, don't remind me."

"I think I might ask the same thing of you."

"Deal."

***

Cloud found a spot up near the front of the ship that seemed to be mostly out of the way of the sailors who were working hard as they approached land. He had managed to catch Sephiroth for a moment to ask about the strangely coloured mist that they had passed through. It was apparently Aerith's doing, but he didn't get any further explanation. Sephiroth was just as busy as the rest of the crew, keeping the ship from running aground on any of the numerous sandbars that Cloud noticed on either side of the deep channel they were navigating. Wrecked hulls littered the area surrounding the Island of Regna, and Cloud wondered if the island had been chosen as a base because of how difficult it was to get to.

When he first saw land, Cloud had thought their journey was nearly over, but it wasn't until several hours later that they finally lowered the anchors in the harbour. Cloud listened as Sephiroth gave half the crew permission to go ashore at a time. Zack would be taking the _Black Materia_ out again in two days' time, and the sailors all had to be ready to leave again by then.

Finally, Sephiroth motioned Cloud over and helped him board one of the little wooden boats that were tied to the sides of the ship. Zack went with them, and Cloud couldn't help but feel that it was out of concern for Sephiroth. The man had looked apoplectic with rage at the sight of First Tsurugi on his back when Cloud left the cabin in the morning. Cloud himself had to overcome a wave of fear when he saw Sephiroth carrying Masamune. It was all he could do to keep from drawing his sword to defend himself. At least he hadn't actually seen Hojo, though he had kept a fearful eye out for him, probably to the great amusement of the crew.

Two men rowed the little boat to the dock, where several people were waiting to help them ashore. Sephiroth was greeted with a reserved cordiality, while Cloud lowered his head under the curious stares. Zack, on the other hand, received numerous friendly slaps on the back and shouted demands to know how long he was staying this time, and if he'd be joining them in the tavern. Zack neatly avoided promising anything; it seemed like he was going to stick by Sephiroth's side until he was forced to leave.

"People seem to really like you," Cloud noted quietly. He wasn't sure what he had expected after meeting Zack the previous night, but seeing him acting like he used to in SOLDIER came as a surprise. It made the fact that Zack didn't like or trust him hurt even more.

Zack glanced at him, as though he was surprised that Cloud had dared to even speak to him, but looked away again without a word.

"We'll go up to the keep," Sephiroth said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Cloud was sure it was meant to get him walking in the right direction, but the little squeeze Sephiroth gave him felt encouraging as well.

As they walked, Cloud took in his surroundings. The docks they had come ashore on were quite small, but Cloud could see another set across the harbour where most of the crew that had left the ship had gone.

"Quit gawking." Cloud saw Zack's hand coming towards his head, but didn't have a chance to react before Sephiroth casually swatted it away.

"I told you to leave him be. I haven't blindfolded him; he's free to look. And don't hit his head. That's an order."

Sephiroth proceeded to ignore Zack's protesting grumbles, and instead began pointing out some of the features of the island. "It's actually two islands," he said, indicating the one they were on and the land across the harbour. The larger of the two is crescent shaped; you'll be able to see a bit of the shape from the top of the hill. There are a few villages on it, and the majority of the people live there. This island houses the keep, which was finished six years ago, along with our main trading centre."

"What are those buildings?" Cloud pointed to two large stone buildings that appeared to be on the ends of the crescent-shaped island. They were smaller than the keep Sephiroth had pointed out, but still significantly larger than any other building. 

"The old keeps. Mostly abandoned, but perhaps not as much as we'd like the world to believe."

"Sephiroth!"

"Sorry, Zack." Sephiroth smiled widely. "Perhaps I am getting a bit carried away. You haven't agreed to work with me yet."

Cloud frowned at the confidence with which Sephiroth had added on the 'yet'. Though it seemed fairly unlikely that his confidence was misplaced. Where else was he going to go, especially now that he had the answers he had been looking for? He didn't think he could go back to being a caravan guard again. "When can I see ... her?"

"Is tomorrow soon enough?"

Cloud shook his head. He needed to see Aerith. It was one thing for Sephiroth to tell him she was alive, but he wouldn't believe it until he had seen for himself. "I don't need to speak to her or anything, just ..."

"All right." Sephiroth turned down a side street, away from the main road that headed up to the keep.

"Where are you going?" Zack asked, following them doggedly.

"To see Aerith; I've got some new seeds for her. Why don't you go up to the keep?"

"No, I'll stay with you."

"It wasn't a suggestion, Zack. Go."

Cloud almost felt badly when he saw the look on Zack's face before he turned away, going back the way they had come. He wanted to offer some sort of reassurance, though he knew it wouldn't do any good.

"Give him time," Sephiroth said quietly, taking Cloud by the hand and continuing to guide him through a maze of streets. "He's just worried. I was always a bit more subtle when I came across the others. And I don't normally keep secrets from him."

"That he knows of."

"Exactly. There, up ahead. That's her house."

Cloud tore his thoughts away from Zack and looked where Sephiroth was pointing. It was a small house, but there was a large garden in the front, full of flowers, just the way she would have liked it.

"Do you want to talk to her?"

"I—What would I say?" There was nothing he could say without sounding insane. And Cloud wasn't quite sure he trusted himself to not start crying the instant he saw her.

"Do you want to wait here while I go talk to her?" Sephiroth asked, touching his cheek gently. "You'll be able to see her, at least."

He found himself nodding, although he wasn't even certain he would be able to cope with that much. Maybe waiting until tomorrow would be better.

"Okay, wait here, I won't be long." Sephiroth was gone before Cloud could change his mind, moving towards the house with the flowers with long strides that covered the distance quickly.

The door was opened by a man with shoulder-length black hair, and Cloud did a double-take, realizing that it was Tseng. Did he live with her? Sephiroth appeared to chat with him for a few moments, then Tseng went inside and Aerith appeared in his place. From the distance he was at, it seemed as though she hadn't changed in the slightest from the day Cloud had lowered her into the lake in the Forgotten City.

It looked like Sephiroth was luring her outside, taking small steps backwards while continuing their conversation. She followed him trustingly, though every nerve in Cloud's body was screaming at him to get her away. She laughed at something Sephiroth said, twirling her braid around her fingers like she always used to do. When Sephiroth pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to her, Cloud heard her shriek of delight. She threw her arms around his neck and lifted her feet, make Sephiroth stagger slightly from the sudden weight on him.

All too soon, she was waving goodbye and going back inside as Sephiroth turned away and started walking back towards him.

"Cloud?" Sephiroth was looming over him, and Cloud realized that he was on the ground, his knees apparently having given out from under him. "Are you all right?"

Cloud tried to nod, but Sephiroth had knelt down and was holding his chin, wiping away what he realized were tears. "I—"

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth whispered, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. "I'm so sorry."

"Liar!" Cloud choked out. "You knew exactly how much she meant to us when you killed her."

"I did ... even more than preventing her from using Holy, I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to take away your hope."

Hearing Sephiroth admit that, while at the same time attempting to comfort Cloud, was suddenly too much to bear. He shoved Sephiroth away and staggered to his feet. "What are you playing at here?" he shouted. "You rescued me and want me to work with you, but you still called me your puppet! You've got all my friends, _my_ friends on your side, and you're turning them against me!

"Hojo's still—he's—and Aerith! Does Tseng keep her under guard for you? Is that what you meant by 'under your protection'?"

"Calm down, Cloud. You're still injured."

"Why the hell do you care? Why not just take advantage of it and kill me now? Or is it more fun to mess with my head for a while first?"

"That's unfair," Sephiroth said quietly, a drastic contrast to Cloud's shouting. "Please, come up to the keep. Don't do this here."

"I just—I just—" Cloud's anger suddenly deflated as the pain in his head grew. He glanced around at the crowd of people he had attracted and felt his face turn red in shame. Sephiroth wasn't supposed to be the reasonable one.

He followed when Sephiroth tugged on his arm, leading him back the way they had come and up the winding path to the keep. The solid stone structure was bleak and imposing, giving the impression that if he went in, he'd never leave again. He couldn't find the will to resist, however, and followed his old enemy inside. He thought he caught a glimpse of Zack as they walked, but hoped the man wouldn't approach them again. He couldn't cope, not now.

Eventually, Sephiroth opened the door to a large room and pushed Cloud inside, closing the door behind them.

"Did you get it all out, or was there anything else you'd like to discuss?" Sephiroth asked coldly. "I realize that you don't have quite the same audience here, but perhaps I could invite a few people in so you can undermine my authority a little more effectively."

"Fuck off." Cloud turned away and went to sit down on the deep bench by the room's tiny window. He wasn't about to allow Sephiroth to make him feel guilty on top of everything else. 

"Fine." Sephiroth was gone before Cloud had quite registered that he was leaving, and he heard a key turning in the lock as soon as the door was shut.


	3. Chapter 3

Sephiroth could have kicked himself as soon as he locked the door. Wasn't that exactly what he had told himself he wouldn't do? He couldn't even blame Cloud for his outburst. Although he had been caught off guard by it, it had been too much to hope that Cloud would just accept everything without a problem. And yet he couldn't bring himself to open the door and try again. Instead he made his way down to the main hall, where he found Zack engaged in a card game with Yuffie.

"Hi, boss," Yuffie said cheerfully as she pulled a pile of coins over to her side of the table. "Want to play, too? Zack's running out of money to give me."

"I'd like to think that I know better than to play Arcomage with you." He poured himself a mug of ale and sat down, picking up Zack's deck. "But what the hell, what are the win conditions?"

Yuffie grinned and quickly explained the rules and how much it would cost him. "Zack says that you're acting weird."

"Yuffie!"

"Well, you did! So tell me, Sephiroth, what's going on with your prisoner? Someone said he was screaming at you in the streets."

Sephiroth pondered how to answer while he studied his cards. After staring at his feeble magic reserves, he played a Pearl of Wisdom and took an extra counter before adding to his tower. "First, he's not my prisoner."

"So where is he now? Wandering around?"

"No, he's in the room next to mine."

"Are you sure?"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes; Yuffie's method of questioning always forced out answers that he didn't really want to give. "Yes, I locked him in. He's upset right now, and I don't want him having free run of the place." He glanced over at Zack and offered him a small smile. "I'm not entirely sure he won't decide to stab me in the back."

"Can he?" Zack asked quietly. "I've never seen anyone who can even come close to defeating you. That's a nasty looking sword he's carrying, but he doesn't look that strong."

"He can. He's done it before. You should see him fight; it's the most beautiful thing."

"So you've got this guy who isn't your prisoner but you've locked up anyway, who can beat you in a fight, and might want to kill you ... why? Also, that was a Dragon I just played. I won, so pay up."

Sephiroth frowned at the cards; how had she gotten enough beasts to play a Dragon? He hadn't really been paying attention, but he didn't think Yuffie would cheat with him. Shrugging, he dropped the coins into her outstretched hand. "We knew each other a long time ago. We were quite close at one point, though he doesn't remember that. I hurt him ... badly. I regret it now, but at the time ... he has every right to hate me. I want to make it up to him, though. I miss him."

Yuffie sucked in a long, loud breath before whispering as loudly as she could, "Were you _lovers_?"

Zack dropped his mug with a clatter, ignoring the beer spreading over the floor. "What? Were you?"

"He doesn't remember," Sephiroth said firmly. 

"I knew it!" Yuffie shouted triumphantly, causing numerous heads to swivel towards them. "I always guessed that you had some tragic love in your past. I mean, you could have anyone, women or men, but—"

"Oh, shut up, it was hardly tragic," Sephiroth snapped. "We were together, I hurt him, he was injured and lost his memory, and I hurt him some more."

"That's the definition of tragic!" Yuffie gasped again and bounced excitedly. "Did you cheat on him with Ms. Gainsborough? Zack said you went to see her."

"No, I didn't cheat on him!"

"But it has something to do with her?"

"That's enough of this conversation." Sephiroth snatched up a handful of coins and got up from the table. "I won that round."

"You did not, you cheater—oh." Yuffie's eyes went wide as she noticed something behind Sephiroth's back.

Sephiroth slowly turned around to face Cloud, whose face was as pale as a sheet. "Cloud ..."

"We were—" Cloud spun on his heel and bolted back up towards the sleeping quarters.

"Maybe if you're going to lock up your ex-lover who doesn't know that you're ex-lovers, and then discuss the fact that you're ex-lovers, you should put him in the dungeon or something. You know, for next time."

"Yuffie ..." Sephiroth snarled.

"Yes? But in all seriousness, you should go after him."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Zack asked, picking up his own massive sword from its resting spot against the table.

"No. And don't let anyone disturb us. No matter what." Sephiroth walked quickly in the direction Cloud had gone, hoping that it wouldn't come down to a fight between them. 

The door appeared to have had the hinges snapped in half. Sephiroth could see the marks from the ice spell Cloud had used to weaken the metal. At the moment, however, the door had been placed back in the frame.

"Cloud?" he called out, tapping on the door very gently to avoid knocking it in.

"Don't come in." It sounded like Cloud was directly on the other side of the door, probably sitting against it to keep him out.

"All right, I won't come in, but can we talk?" There was no response, but Sephiroth chose to take it as a good sign. "Is the door going to fall in if I lean against it?"

"No."

"Okay, good." Sephiroth sat down with his back resting against the door. He felt it give a little, and then Cloud seemed to push back, adjusting for the added weight. "I don't really know where to start, so I'm going to begin with the easy stuff, if that's all right with you."

Again there was no response, so Sephiroth continued. "Aerith is married to Tseng. They were together before I met them here, and they got married last year. She's expecting."

"She's having a baby?"

"She only just found out, but yes."

"Does he ... does he treat her well?"

"As far as I know, they're very happy together."

"That's good. That's ... that's good. I wish ... I wish I could see her. You know, talk to her and say congratulations and all that, but she'd just think I'm crazy, wouldn't she?"

"We can work something out. As long as you're willing to be patient, you can be friends with her again."

"Just don't start crying the moment I see her, right?" Cloud laughed half-heartedly.

"It would probably help."

"You just made that up, right? About us? You needed something convincing to tell Yuffie."

Sephiroth hesitated; it would be so easy to tell Cloud that yes, he had made it up. It would probably be a lot easier on him. At the same time, however, Sephiroth wanted him to know. "No," he said gently, "it was the truth."

"Bullshit," Cloud said in a shaking voice after several long moments of silence. "We never met before the mission to Nibelheim. And I wouldn't have ... not after that."

"No, not after, but before ... I found you on the roof of the Shinra building one night when you were a cadet. You had been beaten up and had taken refuge up there."

***

It looked like the storm warning would prove correct, but the weather wasn't too bad yet, and for the time being, the steady rain felt good on Sephiroth's face as he paced back and forth across the gravel. He liked coming up to the roof, especially when it was raining. It helped him recover from the stress of his work as the new commander of SOLDIER.

"Who's there?" Sephiroth turned towards a soft sound behind him and caught a glimpse of a small figure making a break for the door back down. He didn't even have to try to catch up; the boy was obviously unenhanced, and he easily caught him, grabbing him by the shoulder and spinning him around.

"I'm sorry, sir, I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to be up here, but it's the only place to go. Please don't tell my CO," the boy babbled while trembling uncontrollably. He was soaked through, and his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. He was also sporting a fat lip and several cuts and bruises on his face.

"What happened to you?" Sephiroth asked, not letting go of the boy's arm.

"Nothing, sir. It's nothing."

Sephiroth rubbed his thumb over a large cut over the boy's eyebrow, smearing blood over his forehead that was quickly washed away by the rain. "That needs stitches if you're not going to heal it. Name and rank?"

"C-Cloud Strife, sir. I'm just a cadet." The boy's teeth were chattering and he still hadn't stopped shaking.

Sephiroth nodded in understanding. Cadets didn't have access to materia, which explained why the boy hadn't healed his injuries. "Do you want me to take you to the infirmary?"

Cloud shook his head, wincing in pain. "They'll make me fill out a report."

"Is that an issue?" When the boy nodded, but didn't elaborate any further, Sephiroth sighed in frustration. "Come with me, then. You're freezing." He pulled Cloud towards the door and dragged him down the stairwell. He didn't want to have to explain why he had an injured cadet in tow, so he avoided the elevator and took the stairs all the way down to the forty-eighth floor.

"Where are we going, sir?" Cloud asked when they emerged onto the SOLDIER's residence floor.

"My apartment. If you're refusing to go to the infirmary, and have taken to hiding on the roof instead, I assume that you're not going back to your bunk, either. I can't knowingly leave you out in weather like that." He tapped his keycard at his door and pushed Cloud inside. "Wait there," he said as he shut the door, "I'll find a change of clothes for you." Sephiroth stripped off his coat and boots, then grabbed a towel from the linen closet and tossed it to the boy. "Don't worry about getting blood on it."

"Thank you, sir."

Sephiroth quickly dried off and changed, then found a pair of sweats and a T-shirt that might fit Cloud's small frame. "Here, you can use the bathroom over there to change."

While Cloud was changing, Sephiroth pulled out his cure materia and bangle. "Take a seat at the table," he said when the boy emerged from the bathroom. He was holding a wad of toilet paper to his forehead. "I'll heal you up."

"Please don't," Cloud said in a panicked voice. "They'll know someone helped me."

"'They' being whoever did this to you?"

"Ye-yes."

"Stupid," Sephiroth hissed, throwing the bangle down. "Sit down, that's an order."

Cloud sat immediately, though he looked terrified. Sephiroth stormed over to his storage closet and rummaged around until he came up with his first aid kit. He snatched the toilet paper away from Cloud and pressed a piece of gauze to his forehead instead.

"This is going to scar, I hope you know, and I can't stitch it for you."

"I'm sorry."

Sephiroth sighed and tried to quell his anger; the boy wasn't the one who had done something wrong, and he couldn't blame him for being afraid. He had done a lot of stupid things out of fear of Hojo. "Just hold still; I need to disinfect it."

Cloud sat as still as a statue while Sephiroth applied the disinfectant to his cuts, then taped the largest ones closed. He dabbed at the cut on Cloud's lip, and then got up to get an icepack for it.

"There," he said gently, brushing some hair out of the boy's eyes, "that will help the swelling go down."

"Thank you, sir."

***

"You started looking for me on the roof after that. Usually when you were having a hard time. I'd patch you up and give you a place to hide for a while. Sometimes you spent the night when you were too afraid to go back to your bunk. Eventually you began coming up even if things were fine. I liked having someone who just needed me to be there for them. You never asked me to do anything about the people who hurt you ... you never wanted anything except a hug and a bit of encouragement. Still there?"

"Yeah." Cloud's voice was barely audible. "I'm listening."

"Any of this ringing a bell?"

"I always ... I could never remember how I got the scar on my forehead. Keep talking?"

"I can do that." Sephiroth readjusted his position against the door and shut his eyes, taking himself back to those years. "I grew to hate leaving on missions. I worried constantly about you while I was gone. But at the same time, I loved how happy you were to see me when I returned."

***

Sephiroth paced anxiously on the roof, his boots beating out a worn path in the gravel. Cloud knew he had come back today, right? Had something happened to him while he was gone? He had almost convinced himself to go look for him—he could think up some excuse to check in on the cadets—when the door banged open and Cloud burst through. He was clutching something tightly in his hand and ran over as soon as he saw Sephiroth, throwing his arms around his chest.

"You're here! Guess what?"

"What?" Sephiroth asked, laughing. It was rare to see Cloud looking so happy.

"I won an award! Look!" Cloud let go to show him what he was holding. It was a small trophy in the shape of Shinra's logo with a plaque on the bottom. It read: Best First Year Cadet, Cloud Strife. 

"That's wonderful, Cloud," Sephiroth said genuinely, taking the trophy to admire it. "I'm proud of you."

"They gave it to me during our morning parade today! Along with a cheque for two hundred gil!"

"What are you going to buy with it? You should get yourself something special."

"Oh man, I haven't even thought about that yet. I've just been so excited to tell you all day!" Cloud jumped up and wrapped his arms tightly around Sephiroth's neck.

Sephiroth carefully set the trophy down on a vent and hoisted Cloud up, hugging him tightly. He froze, however, when Cloud pressed his lips to Sephiroth's.

"I'm sorry," Cloud gasped and began to squirm to get out of Sephiroth's grip. "I was just—I was—"

"Shh," Sephiroth whispered, not letting go, "you were caught up in the moment." He bent his head down and kissed Cloud again. He wasn't entirely sure what he was thinking, but he wanted to show Cloud that it was all right. When Cloud began hesitantly kissing him back, Sephiroth hoisted him up a little bit higher and gently pressed his tongue between his lips.

***

"Things escalated from there. Kissing became a regular thing, then we started touching each other when you'd sleep over at my place, then it was a lot more than just touching ..."

"Did anybody know?"

"No, we kept it a secret from everyone. I thought of you as my own, and I didn't want to share you with anyone else. And—I never acknowledged it, but I think a part of me knew that it was wrong. I was nearly a decade older than you, not to mention the difference in our ranks. But I didn't want to give you up. I did genuinely love you."

"After you came back, I was going through some of the wreckage of the tower. My personal effects had been put into storage. I found a metal box with my name and ID on it."

"That's right," Sephiroth said, recalling the old procedure, "they did that when someone was killed or missing in action. They held them for ten years or until a relative retrieved them."

"You didn't ... you didn't have anything to do with those awards, did you? It was just a stupid cadet thing. You wouldn't have known, unless ..."

"It wasn't stupid." Sephiroth was surprised at the vehemence in his voice, but he couldn't keep himself from saying it. Not when the memory of the young man who was so proud of himself was fresh in his mind. "You worked damn hard for that award, and you deserved it." 

He could hear Cloud laughing behind the door; it was a bitter sort of laugh. "I'm sure I did. I ... I don't remember it at all."

"You're right, though. I didn't have anything to do with the cadet awards."

Cloud was silent for a long time; the only reason Sephiroth knew he was still there was that he hadn't felt the door shift. Finally, he spoke. "Can I sleep in here tonight?"

"Of course. I'll make sure that no one disturbs you. There are clothes in the wardrobe; you should be able to find some that fit, and there's a bathroom attached. It's even got plumbing."

"Okay, thanks. I think ... I think I need to sleep on this."

"All right." Sephiroth got up so Cloud could stop holding the door up. "If you need anything, I'm just next door. Goodnight."

Sephiroth decided to forgo his evening meal; he didn't much feel like eating, and he didn't want to risk having Cloud come looking for him and not be able to find him. So he returned to his room and stripped off his clothes before crawling into the bed. He lay awake, however, wondering what Cloud was thinking of. He hadn't thought about their time together in years, and looking back made his stomach twist unpleasantly as he thought of what he didn't do.

***

Sephiroth smelled blood when he stepped out onto the roof, and he ran around to the far side of the ventilation system where Cloud would always hide until he arrived. "What happened?" he asked as he skidded around the corner and nearly threw himself down next to the boy who was huddled up and crying.

Cloud looked up at him; one of his eyes was swollen shut, and Sephiroth didn't wait to take an account of any other injuries. He knew there were more.

"It's okay," he murmured quietly and gathered Cloud into his arms, shifting him carefully when he bit back a cry of pain. "Let's go get you cleaned up."

Every step he took down the stairs made Cloud whimper. It seemed like an eternity of promising that it was just a little bit further, and Sephiroth was certain that it felt even longer to Cloud. Halfway down, he couldn't take it anymore.

"Cloud?" he murmured softly. "Cloud, I'm going to leave you here and go get my materia."

At that, Cloud started to squirm, ignoring how it was obviously causing him more pain. 

"I know," Sephiroth said quickly. "I know you don't want me healing you, but I need to this time. I can't fix this with a bandage and some ice."

"No, please," Cloud started, but Sephiroth set him down.

"No. I'll help you come up with an excuse if somebody asks, but I'm not going to leave you injured like this. I can't believe you even made it up to the roof in your condition. Stay here and wait for me, Cloud. That's an order." He left, feeling somehow like he was being terribly cruel, but knowing that Cloud wouldn't go anywhere, not after he had been ordered to stay.

The elevators were crowded with people who had been staying late, and Sephiroth was glad that he hadn't gone with his first idea of just taking Cloud with him. As it was, he got a few strange looks directed at the blood on his shirt, but nobody said anything. Cloud was exactly where he had left him when he got back, but he was sobbing loudly.

"Please," he begged, "they're going to know."

"No, they won't." Sephiroth knelt beside Cloud and tipped him back so he was lying on the landing. He didn't resist, but he didn't stop begging for him to not do it, either. "You're going to tell anyone who asks that you were in the bathroom trying to clean yourself up when a SOLDIER found you," he said as he pulled up Cloud's shirt to reveal blackened ribs that were most certainly broken. He had a bruise forming on his stomach in the shape of a bootprint and an oozing cut in his side.

"I can't, Sephiroth, please ..."

"You can," Sephiroth said firmly and cast Cura. "He was a Third Class—you didn't get his name, but he had brown hair and a big sword. He decided that you'd be a good person to practice on with his new materia. He didn't care about how you got hurt. Why would a SOLDIER care about a cadet? He just thought it was convenient." He pressed gently on Cloud's torso, making sure everything had healed as it was supposed to, then he turned to Cloud's face and cast his spell on it as well. "Now, where else?"

Cloud grimaced but gave in with a sigh. "My—my knees," he stammered.

"Both?" When Cloud nodded, Sephiroth rolled up his pant legs. It looked like he had fallen hard on them. A quick Cure had them looking much better. "Let's go home. We can flesh out your story a bit more." He pulled Cloud to his feet and straightened his clothes out.

"Wish it was my home," Cloud whispered, fighting back more tears.

"I know ..." Sephiroth hugged him tightly. "I do too."

***

Sephiroth scowled at the dark ceiling, hating himself for his inaction. He could have done something. _Anything_ would have been better than coming up with excuse after excuse. He hated himself even more because he knew why he hadn't done anything. He hadn't been sexually attracted to Cloud at that point, but he had wanted him for himself. Cloud might not have wanted to come see him if he wasn't suffering so much.

Instead he had told himself that he was helping by healing Cloud and trying to think of ways he could avoid repercussions. Without, of course, going to anyone in a position of authority about it. At the time, he had honestly believed that it was in Cloud's best interests to spend the night in his bed.

***

"It's getting late," Cloud finally murmured in a tone that said he had resigned himself to his fate.

"Stay here tonight, Cloud," Sephiroth said. He could easily see how reluctant he was to return to the barracks. He couldn't blame him, either.

"I don't want to bother you," Cloud protested in a small voice. "You've already done enough."

"It's no bother. You know I like having you here. I'll set my alarm so you have time to get back before you start in the morning. It's not like any of them are going to care that you're missing." His harsh words were what wiped the reluctant look off of Cloud's face.

"You wouldn't mind?"

"No, not at all."

Cloud nodded slowly. "I won't get in your way. I'll just sleep on the couch; I don't need a blanket or anything."

"There's room in my bed." It was such a big bed. Sephiroth had balked at its size when he first moved into the apartment. What was he supposed to do with such a waste of space? Now he had a reason for it. Cloud could easily sleep on one half and he'd never even know he was there.

"Your bed? But ..."

"No buts. Have you seen my bed? It's huge. And you'd be cold sleeping on the couch with no blanket. Come on, let's find you something to wear for pyjamas."

***

It had felt like such a tiny thing, and Cloud had been so grateful. He had curled up at the edge of the bed and slept so soundly that Sephiroth had been certain it was the first good night's sleep he had had in months. But he knew that he could have helped Cloud sleep soundly in his _own_ bed if he hadn't been so selfish.

He sighed and rolled over, shutting his eyes. There was no use dwelling on it. He wanted Cloud back—wanted him more than he ever had in the past, and bringing up all of his regrets wouldn't do anything to help that goal.


	4. Chapter 4

It appeared to be late morning when Cloud carefully moved the door out of the frame and peered out into the hall. The door to the room next to his was ajar, and a quick glance inside showed that Sephiroth wasn't there. Unsure of where else to look, Cloud started to retrace the way he had gone the night before. The big room he had found Sephiroth in had looked like the canteen in Shinra, and he was starving.

"Looking for something?" The voice startled Cloud out of his thoughts.

"I—I—Just the canteen," he stammered, angry that Zack had caught him off guard like that. 

"The what?" Zack pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against and stretched his arms over his head.

"The—I'm hungry. Can you—will you tell me where I can get something to eat?"

"Right, follow me." Zack led him down the flight of stairs and back to the big hall that was filled with tables. It wasn't very crowded at the moment; it was probably an odd time of day for a meal. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever come out of there."

"Were you waiting for me?"

Zack grabbed a plate and began piling food on it: bread, cheese, and bacon seemed to be the main fare. He shoved the full plate into Cloud's hands, then filled two mugs with a pale beer. "Sephiroth asked me to keep watch and make sure no one disturbed you."

"Thanks." Cloud sat down at a relatively clean table and accepted the mug that Zack pushed at him with a small smile. "I appreciate it. I was ... it was a lot to take in."

"So are you really his old lover?"

"I ... I don't remember any of it. I wish I could, but ... I don't know if I even want to believe him."

"You think he'd lie to you?" Zack frowned, and Cloud realized that he'd have to tread very carefully if he didn't want Zack to think of him as an enemy.

"He ... what I remember is that he always wanted to hurt me. The man I know—knew, he might have lied about something like that, but now he seems different. And some of the things he said last night ... he couldn't have known unless he was telling the truth."

"When did you last see him?"

"Five ... no, closer to six years ago." Cloud munched slowly on a piece of bread. It was hard to believe that it had really been that long since the remnants appeared in Edge.

"And so you what, got hit on the head or something and forgot everything?"

"Something like that." Cloud turned away and devoted himself solely to eating. He was glad that Zack didn't remember Hojo and their years in captivity, but at the same time, it was hard to cope with his questions. There were so many answers that he couldn't give.

Zack didn't say anything else while Cloud finished eating, though he seemed to be scrutinizing his every move.

"Is Sephiroth busy?" he asked once he had cleaned his plate.

"You want to see him?"

"If it's not too much trouble."

"All right." Zack drained his mug and stood up. "He's meeting with some of his captains, but he said to take you to him immediately if you asked."

"I don't want to bother him if he's busy; it's not anything in particular," Cloud said quickly, but Zack was already walking away.

"I don't want you to, either, but orders are orders. He's worried about you."

Cloud jogged after Zack, who led him into an unfamiliar section of the keep. He had a hard time accepting that Sephiroth was actually concerned about him, let alone concerned enough for other people to notice. "Do you really think so?"

"He woke me up before dawn to make me sit outside your door. He didn't want you to have to deal with him if you didn't want to, so he asked me to help you instead. I'd say he's worried." Zack came to a large reinforced wooden door and banged on it before pushing it open. "He asked to see you, sir."

Zack stepped back, and moments later Sephiroth came through the door. "Cloud, how are you?"

"I'm okay, I just—" Cloud suddenly felt extremely awkward. He really didn't have anything to say. He had really only asked because he didn't know what else he was supposed to do. Zack was frowning like he was annoyed that he had dared to waste Sephiroth's time.

"Why don't you come sit in on the meeting? We're just discussing a few things, and then we'll be done." Something about the way Sephiroth spoke made Cloud think that he had done this before. Perhaps in dealing with a shy cadet who had wanted to see him without a proper reason. 

"Okay." Cloud bobbed his head, feeling very much like a cadet. He blushed when Sephiroth leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"There are people you know in there. Just act normally, please."

"I will."

Sephiroth smiled and squeezed his shoulder, then gestured for Zack to follow them. The door opened on a half-dozen people gathered around a large oval table. A large map of Jadame was spread over it, and there were dozens of markers scattered across it. Everyone turned to look as Sephiroth guided him towards a chair at the far end of the table.

Cloud sat, trembling as he took in the faces of his friends from AVALANCHE. They looked curious, but not as though they had a clue who he was. Instead they were all merely wondering who the new face was.

Yuffie was noticeably older. She had grown out her hair and had it tied back out of her face. She elbowed Vincent hard enough to make him swat at her while whispering in his ear, and Cloud remembered that she was the one Sephiroth was talking to last night. Vincent looked exactly the same as Cloud remembered, except he wore brown leather gloves instead of his gauntlet. Nanaki barely looked at him; he was busy staring at the map and muttering to himself. 

Cid and Barret had been arguing over something, though they fell silent as Cloud took his seat. Barret's right arm appeared to have a simple brass hand instead of a gun, which made sense. There were no guns on Enroth.

"Sorry, let's continue," Sephiroth said. He remained standing, leaning over the table.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Yuffie asked.

Cloud grinned at the look the Sephiroth shot at the girl. "This is Cloud. Cloud, this is Yuffie, Vincent, Barret, Cid, and Red. Now, Barret and Cid, I want you to help the _Red Heart_ at Dagger Wound. Tifa's reporting that the bridges are out, which is hindering the defence, but apparently they're working on getting some old teleportation stones working again. Get over there and get things under control as fast as you can. Take a half dozen ships from the fleet to help you.

"Yuffie, Reeve says we need metal for the sub. Talk to him and find out exactly what he wants, then get it. Use Arion Hunter and the smuggler's guild if you need to, but I want a prototype within a month. Red, have you had a chance to think about the reports we've been getting?"

Nanaki frowned and twitched his tail. "I think that if the portal that opened up at Dagger Wound and caused the earthquake really goes to one of the elemental planes, there are going to be three others elsewhere. One for each of the elements. It's only logical."

"Is that a bad thing?" Sephiroth asked.

"For the world? Definitely. For us? Maybe. It won't be good in the long run, but we might be able to use it to our advantage. I'd like to take the _Lunatic Moon_ to scout it out and get some more solid information. A lot of the reports I've received are inaccurate or missing vital information."

"All right, do that. Vincent ..."

"I'll check out the gate we know of. We need to verify if it really does go to one of the planes."

"Thank you," Sephiroth said with a nod. "Don't put yourself at too much risk."

"That's why Vinnie's got his crew of skeletons," Yuffie said cheerily. "No need to worry about racking up the casualties when they're already dead."

"Don't call me that. And yes, I'll be careful."

Cloud looked at Vincent curiously. An undead crew? Could that really be done? He had heard of a few necromancers who could raise armies of the dead, but to have them man a ship? Controlling them like that would be significantly more difficult than throwing them in the direction of the enemy. It was an impressive feat, without a doubt.

"All right, Zack's taking the _Black Materia_ and half the remaining fleet out catch the ships coming out of Ravenshore. They'll be sending out supplies to help with the situation at Dagger Wound, but I want us to be the ones who actually deliver them. People there are only going to care about the end result and who got the supplies to them. I want to at least gain control of Dagger Wound through this, then we can move on to Shadowspire."

Cloud sat quietly while the captains broke out into discussion, talking about tactics and supplies and what they thought the best routes would be. He wasn't certain of what exactly was going on, but a feeling of nostalgia crept over him, and he thought back to when they were chasing Sephiroth and arguing over how best to proceed. Sephiroth was obviously their leader, but that didn't keep them from voicing their opinions. He could see how Sephiroth had determined their strengths, and then decided how best to use them.

"Are you all right?" Sephiroth asked quietly while the others were distracted.

Cloud nodded. Seeing them all here was bringing back good memories, even though it hadn't been an easy time. He wondered how Tifa was; he was pretty sure that Sephiroth had mentioned that she was at Dagger Wound now.

"We're almost done here, then we can talk some more if you want."

"Okay. Don't rush or anything, I'm fine."

Sephiroth nodded and brushed his hand over Cloud's hair in a familiar sort of gesture that Cloud found he didn't mind. There was something in the way that Sephiroth was acting that made it feel like casually touching him was the most natural thing to do. It was strange, and it made Cloud feel unsure of himself, but it was also comforting.

It took perhaps another half hour before the group had worked out their plans in detail, then they started gathering their things up and heading off to their respective tasks.

"We'll all get together tonight, right?" Yuffie asked before Vincent made it through the door.

"Of course," Sephiroth said with a nod.

"And Cloud is coming, right?"

"That's up to Cloud." Sephiroth frowned and tried to shoo her out, but she ducked around him.

"You'll come, right? We all get together and get drunk before we leave en masse like this. It'll be fun."

"He'll come if he wants to." Sephiroth got back in between him and Yuffie and shoved her towards the door.

"If you say so, but don't go locking him up again or I'll be the one to break him out. Hear that? I'll rescue you, princess! Wait for me!"

"Sorry," Sephiroth said once everyone was gone, "Yuffie can be ..."

"Enthusiastic?" Cloud offered.

"I'm not sure that's the word I'd choose, but all right. She's enthusiastic. Did you get something to eat?"

"Yeah, Zack fed me."

"How was he? I wasn't sure about leaving him to watch over you, but I didn't want you to have to come to me if you didn't want to."

"He was fine. I'm going to work on getting him to trust me. I can't believe you made him wait outside my door since before dawn."

Sephiroth shrugged. "I wasn't sure when you'd wake up. Let's go somewhere a little more private," he suggested, holding out his hand. "Anyone's allowed to use this area if they need it. And anything that Yuffie hears, you can guarantee will either spread or be used to blackmail us later."

Cloud found himself holding Sephiroth's hand before he even realized that he had reached for it. "Can we go outside? The window in that room was so tiny, I felt like I was in a prison."

"Not a very effective one," Sephiroth said with a laugh.

Cloud felt himself blush. "Sorry about the door."

"No, I shouldn't have locked you in. Come on, I think I know a place you'll like."

To Cloud's surprise, instead of leading him down towards where the exit of the keep would be, Sephiroth took him through several long passages and up a winding staircase to a ladder. He banged on a trap door at the top of it, then pushed it open.

"What's going on? My shift's not—oh, I'm so sorry, my lord." A woman with her hair tied back under a bandana and a crossbow slung over her shoulder scrambled to her feet, hastily stubbing out a cigarette on the sole of her boot.

"At ease, I need to borrow this spot for a while." Sephiroth pulled himself up through the trap door, then reached down to offer Cloud a hand up. "Go join your partner on the east tower."

"Yes, sir." The woman quickly gathered up her things and scrambled down the ladder. "Should I tell the next watch to not come up?"

"I'm not sure how long I'll be. If I haven't sent someone for you by the time your shift is almost over, go ahead and send the next watch straight to the east tower."

"Understood." She took a few more steps down, then pulled the trap door closed behind her.

"The roof?" Cloud asked with a nervous grin.

"It seemed fitting, and I do like the view."

Cloud walked over to the edge and gazed out at the sea. It looked so peaceful, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore far below was soothing. Turning around, he could see the shape of the second island that Sephiroth had talked about. Small clusters of houses dotted the shoreline nearest them, and the back of the island appeared to be covered in a thick forest.

"You know, I always kept hoping that I had dealt with all the crazy things that were going to happen to me in my lifetime, but then something else would come along and I'd be right back at square one, trying to hold on. I mean, does this happen to other people? One day you wake up and the guy who spent years trying to kill you is saying you used to cry on his shoulder and—shit, you know, I can't even make myself believe that you're lying."

Sephiroth sat down and leaned up against the wall, then patted the stone next to him. Cloud couldn't believe how much a part of him wanted to sit right beside Sephiroth and lean on his shoulder. He forced himself to sit three hand spans away just on principle.

"Sometimes I think that you must be the unluckiest person I've ever met," Sephiroth said quietly. "You've never caught a break in your life."

"I don't know, you were making out last night like meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Sephiroth laughed and shook his head, then pulled his hair out from behind his back to drape it over his shoulder. "Maybe it was, and if so, you're definitely the unluckiest person I've met."

"When ... when Zack brought me up to that meeting room, what you said ... it seemed to me like you knew exactly what I was thinking. No," he corrected himself, "not thinking, but feeling. You always knew what I was thinking and what I'd do when I was your puppet, but this was ... different."

"You were always afraid to come see me without a reason. You'd show up at my door, needing to talk, but you didn't know what to say, and you hated to disturb me. You must have thought I worked nonstop. I didn't know how to convince you that I had, and would make, time for you."

***

Sephiroth ran for the door the instant he heard the soft, but rapid, tapping. Cloud was terrified of coming to the residence floor and being caught, although Sephiroth had assured him that he could explain it away. He opened it and pulled Cloud inside the moment he saw him.

"What happened? Sephiroth bent down to take a closer look; Cloud was sporting a black eye today.

"I'm sorry, I—"

"It's okay, come in." Sephiroth tried to usher Cloud into the living room, but he remained frozen in the entryway. 

"No, you look busy, I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry."

Sephiroth sighed, wondering how he could possibly look busy. He was dressed only in an old pair of sweats and his hair was still wet from the shower. It was hardly a busy look, but he knew that Cloud would be impossible to convince otherwise. He seemed to think that Sephiroth only had time for him if he met him up on the roof and anything else was intruding. "I've got some things I need to finish up," he said, "but why don't you come in and wait while I work?"

Sephiroth took Cloud by the hand and pulled him into his office. The chair he had purchased just for Cloud had a blanket draped over it, and he got Cloud sitting down and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. "Want to read a book?"

Cloud nodded, offering him a small, apologetic smile.

Sephiroth pulled down the one Cloud had been reading last time and handed it to him. "Okay, don't disturb me until I'm finished."

"I won't, don't worry."

Sephiroth nodded, knowing that Cloud wouldn't so much as twitch until he told him to except to turn the pages of his book. He sat at his desk and found a few mails that he could reply to, then typed up two entirely unnecessary reports. He was pretty sure that the final versions of those reports were already on the president's desk. After an extremely dull half hour, he shut off his computer and turned back to Cloud.

"I'm all done now, Cloud. Why don't we go sit in the living room? I'd like to hear about your day." 

Cloud quickly put the bookmark back in his book and got up, placing it on the shelf where it had been. 

"How's your book?" Sephiroth asked once Cloud was snuggled up against him on the couch.

"Kinda boring," Cloud laughed. "I thought it would be interesting to learn about Shinra's history, but it's all about markets and finances."

"I think I'm going to go to the bookstore and see if I can expand my collection a bit. I'd like to start reading fiction. Maybe I'll get something that you'd find more interesting." Sephiroth was careful to phrase it so it didn't sound like he was going to buy new books for Cloud's benefit.

"Yeah, if you'll let me read them, that would be really good. I like fiction a lot more."

Sephiroth nodded casually. "You're welcome to read anything I've got. So what happened to your eye? Training or outside activities?"

"Outside activities," Cloud said quietly.

Sephiroth sighed and pressed a kiss to the top of Cloud's head. "Do you need some ice for it?"

"No, I got some from the canteen earlier. I think it's okay. They can never get me like that in training, you know."

"I know, I've looked at your records. You're top of your class in most areas. But it's harder to fight back when they gang up on you, isn't it?"

Cloud nodded and pressed his face into Sephiroth's chest, and a tiny sniffle escaped from him.

"You'll be okay, Cloud," Sephiroth said, knowing that Cloud didn't want any promises of help. "You'll get through this, and you'll show them how much better you are."

"I will," Cloud said with the barest amount of confidence.

***

"You looked exactly the same today as you did then: afraid that you were disturbing me. I guess I fell back on old habits."

"I guess the really stupid thing is that it worked. Fifteen years later and I'm still apparently falling for your tricks." Cloud tilted his head back, staring up at the blue sky. "I felt about a thousand times better knowing that I hadn't bothered you enough to keep you from working."

"At least you have the excuse of not remembering my old tricks, so they seem like new, which saves me the trouble of coming up with actual new ones. Thank you for that."

Cloud burst out laughing at that. He laughed far longer and louder than was probably considered acceptable, but he felt far more relaxed once he finally sat upright again, gasping for air. "You're welcome. I guess any time I start wising up, we could just do a brain wipe and start from scratch."

"I think you've wiped your brain enough," Sephiroth said as he casually reached out to squeeze Cloud's shoulder. "I'll come up with new tricks if I need to."

Cloud noticed himself inching closer to Sephiroth's side and stopped with a muttered curse. Why did he keep doing that? All the talk of happier days sounded nice, but he was still _Sephiroth_ , and not someone that he should want to be cozying up with.

"Can I ask you a question?" Sephiroth said.

"Sure." Cloud very deliberately moved back to his original spot, vowing not to budge.

"I know that you ended up with a lot of Zack's memories, but I'm curious about how much his memories actually replaced yours."

Cloud sighed and shut his eyes. "It's hard to tell. I mean, I still don't have everything sorted out. I probably never will."

"But do you, for instance, have his memories of being a cadet?"

"No, nothing like that. I can only remember stuff from when I knew him, so being a First Class, basically. Everything before that is really vague, but I'm pretty sure they're all mine. And there are a few memories of my own from the same time period mixed in, but they mostly just confuse things even more."

"But you've got your childhood memories, correct?"

"Yeah, I think they're about as intact as anyone's. Why? I wouldn't tell you Zack's secrets, even if I knew them."

"No," Sephiroth chuckled, "I didn't want you to do that. It's just something I've been wondering for a while. When I first realized that you didn't remember that we had been together, I ..."

"You?" Cloud prompted when he didn't continue.

"I wondered if it was because of me. If ... if maybe you just couldn't cope with me betraying you like that, so your brain made you forget."

"Why did you do it?" Cloud asked in a very small voice that got swept away by the wind immediately. "If you loved me, why did you do it?"

"Cloud ..." Sephiroth's voice was filled with remorse, and he allowed the man to wrap his arms around him, tucking his head under his chin. "I'm so sorry. I—I can't even give you an explanation. I'm not going to blame Jenova; she was a factor, but in the end, it was all on me. Call it a psychotic breakdown if you want, but that doesn't excuse it."

"No, it doesn't. You killed my mom. You killed Aerith. You nearly killed me." Cloud felt his eyes begin to overflow with tears, and he pressed his face into Sephiroth's chest, hoping to hide them. "How could you do that if you loved me?"

Sephiroth didn't say anything else, but held him tightly to him and let him cry. It felt good to get it out. He had never actually cried about any of it before, not since he had joined AVALANCHE, at least. It was never the right time, and he always had to be the strong one. Now, however, there was no one depending on him, and if Sephiroth had a problem with it, he could cope.

When his tears finally slowed, Sephiroth snuck a handkerchief into his hand and resumed stroking his hair. It was at least a good ten minutes before he finally raised his head up, though he found himself reluctant to stop leaning on Sephiroth.

"I should hate you," Cloud whispered in a hoarse voice.

"Probably. I deserve it."

"So why can't I?"

"I don't _think_ it's me," Sephiroth replied. "At least, I'm not actively trying to use my J-cells to manipulate you. I don't even know if we've still got J-cells. I know that Jenova doesn't have any influence over me."

"You _are_ trying to manipulate me, though, aren't you? You're trying to get me to forgive you."

"I am. I miss you, Cloud. I've never stopped thinking of you as mine, and I do still love you."

"Ugh." Cloud sat upright and rubbed his eyes until he saw stars. "I'm done with this line of conversation for today. What's going on with this piracy thing? Aren't you the captain of the _Black Materia_? And if so, shouldn't you be going with it instead of Zack?"

"I am, but I wanted to stay here with you. Zack often takes over for me; it's fine."

"Oh no, see, now you're not even faking work." Cloud wagged his finger at Sephiroth. "Aren't you supposed to pretend that you're busy?"

"You're saying that I should go?"

"Can I come with you? I'll sit quietly while you work."

Sephiroth laughed and stood up, swinging his arms to stretch them. "Know anything about sailing?"

"Okay ..." Cloud stood and pointed at some of the boats he could see in the harbour. "Those are ships. The white things are sails. They catch the wind and make the ship move. Oh, and ships float on water."

"A right old salt, you are. Hired. Let's get you some armour. And I'll need to tell Zack about the change of plans."


	5. Chapter 5

The remainder of the day was spent getting Cloud fitted with a set of black leather armour and finding the necessary clothes and equipment for him. Everything he had owned except his sword had been lost at Dagger Wound, so it took a significant amount of time. Zack was pleased that Sephiroth would be coming, but didn't appear to entirely approve of the idea of bringing Cloud along.

"We don't really have room for extra bodies if they're not serving a purpose," Zack said, frowning.

"He's just one extra body, and he'll serve a purpose. Now, we need to go get his armour enchanted, so make sure our things are loaded onto the ship."

"I don't need enchantments," Cloud protested, not wanting Zack to think that Sephiroth was coddling him.

"All sailors in the Regnan navy wear enchanted armour. It's lightweight, as strong as steel, and resistant to damage from the salt water. I'm going to get her to add water-walking to it as well," Sephiroth added after a moment's contemplation. "You're not the strongest swimmer, are you?"

"He can't _swim_?"

"I can swim! Just ... not very well. There's not a lot of opportunity to learn in," he hesitated a moment before coming up with the right town, "White Cap. While there technically was a river, it was frozen for most of the year."

"White Cap ... that's one of those northern places in Enroth, isn't it?"

Cloud was eternally grateful to whatever had inspired him to say he was from White Cap. Not only had he spent a decent amount of time there, but it was similar enough to Nibelheim that he could easily claim it as his home town without having to lie too much. "Yeah. Once it didn't stop snowing for three years. It's not exactly the sort of place where you go for a leisurely swim."

"Too cold for my blood," Zack said with a mock shudder.

"All right, we'll be back in time to meet with everyone." Sephiroth clapped Cloud on the shoulder and steered him to the keep's exit.

"Looks like we'll have good weather for a few days, at least," Sephiroth remarked as they made their way back down the winding road.

"Oh?" Cloud looked up at the sky; it was nice out, but he didn't understand how one could predict the next few days with that. "That's good."

"Would you be willing to fight with us? You don't have to, but it would help. Sailors don't really have much tolerance for land lubbers, but if you can fight ..."

"They might respect me?"

"Exactly."

"I ... yeah, I probably can. You're not going to be slaughtering towns full of people or anything, are you?" Cloud didn't really want to have to ask, but felt it was wisest to do so before agreeing to anything.

"No, the way it works is most merchant ships will hire mercenaries separately from their crew. We attack, stick to fighting the mercenaries, and when they surrender, the ship does as well. I don't capture or destroy ships very often; my fleet is large enough for now, and unnecessary destruction just causes problems. I take what I want from the ship, leaving them with enough supplies to get to a safe harbour, then send them on their way. No mass slaughters, really."

"My, you make it sound so full of goodwill and love for mankind."

Sephiroth shrugged. "They've got insurance. Piracy is a part of doing business via the sea. So, I should mention before we get there, Aerith is the person who does all of our enchantments."

Cloud came to a dead stop and gaped at Sephiroth in horror. "What? We've got to go see her?"

"You'll be all right."

"What will I say to her?"

"'Hi, my name's Cloud. Nice to meet you?' I mean, you could improvise a bit. Compliment the flowers maybe?"

"Sephiroth! That's not funny!" Cloud could see the mocking grin on Sephiroth's face. He couldn't just _talk_ to her. Not like that.

"Okay, not funny, but I still think you can do it. You met and introduced yourself to her once; you can do it again. Didn't you want to see her? Tell her congratulations? Make sure that Tseng isn't keeping her chained in the basement?"

"I do," Cloud stammered, "but I didn't think ... It's so soon. What if I freak out?"

"I'll cover for you," Sephiroth said firmly. "No matter what, I'm not going to let you ruin your chance at friendship with her. If you can't handle it and need to leave, trust that I will make an excuse for you."

"You'd do that?"

"I promise, now let's go. She'll need time to work." Sephiroth held out his hand and waited until Cloud reluctantly took hold of it. "You'll be just fine."

***

"Sephiroth! I didn't expect to see you back so soon." Aerith smiled and opened the door wide as soon as she saw him. "What brings you here?"

"I need some enchantments, if you would." Sephiroth held up the set of armour.

"New recruit?" She leaned around to see Cloud, who hadn't quite managed to step out from behind him.

"Yes, of a sort. Cloud is an old friend of mine, and we've got some catching up to do, so he's going to come with me when we leave tomorrow."

"Hi, I'm Aerith." She stuck out her hand and smiled cheerily.

Cloud looked like he was fighting the urge to bolt, but he took an audible breath and shook her hand. "Cloud Strife," he said, "pleased to meet you."

"Well, come on in. Sit wherever you'd like, and I'll put some tea on. Put the armour on the table, Sephiroth. You know where. Standard enchantments?"

"Water walking as well." He cleared a space and laid out the pieces of the set on a large wooden work table. He caught her by the shoulder as she went by to get to the kitchen and whispered in her ear, "And put on as many resistances as you can, and would you be able to make it lucky?"

"Not cheaply," she warned him.

"It's fine," he assured her, "just buff it up as much as possible."

She grinned and patted his shoulder. "You know, I was just telling Tseng that we'd be able to afford to build an extension rather than moving. I like this spot so much, and the garden's just the way I want it; I knew it would work out. Now, what type of tea would you like?"

"Whatever you pick is fine," he said.

"Can I help you with anything?" Cloud asked suddenly.

"Oh, you're a sweetheart. How about you fill the kettle for me."

Sephiroth took at seat at the kitchen table and watched as Cloud did his best to act naturally while he helped Aerith put together a tray of cakes and make the tea. He could tell that Cloud was having a hard time of it, but he also noticed the faintest glimmer of a smile.

"Did you work everything out with Sephiroth?" Aerith said quietly, apparently not realizing that Sephiroth could probably still hear her.

"What?"

"You were the person who was with him yesterday, weren't you? When he came to drop off the seeds for me? I heard somebody yelling after he left, so I looked outside and there was a man with blond hair yelling at him. I was so worried when he dragged you off. I mean, I didn't think he would hurt you, but he can be a bit ... forceful."

"Oh, um ..." The sound of the kettle whistling drowned out whatever Cloud said.

"—to know. I asked my husband to go up to the keep and find out what was going on. There's an interesting rumour going around up there. Here, you carry this tray for me."

Cloud came out carrying a tray with a large teapot on it, blushing up to his ears. Sephiroth winked at him with a grin.

"You heard all that, didn't you," he whispered.

Sephiroth nodded apologetically. "Most of it. Here, put that down."

"Okay, cakes." Aerith set down a plate of cakes and snatched one up popping it into her mouth. "Tea." She poured a single cup of tea and took a sip. "And work. Don't bother me."

"You're such a good host," Sephiroth commented good-humouredly while he poured tea for himself and Cloud.

"You've got two working arms. If they fall off, I'll pour tea for you." She took a seat at her worktable and turned on a lamp that crackled with magic, then set to work with various gems, powders, and chalk for drawing symbols.

An hour later, Aerith sat back and wiped her forehead. "Done. Where did my tea go? Ah, there it is." She found it on the table where she had left it and drained half the cup.

"Do you want me to make some fresh?" Cloud asked.

"No thank you. I like it cold. I'll send you the bill, Sephiroth." She yawned and stretched her arms high over her head, cracking her spine. "Now go away, I'm exhausted."

"I'll leave instructions for it to be paid immediately. Thank you." Sephiroth stood to gather up the armour, but Aerith held out her arms for a hug before he could do so.

"If you want him back, you're going to have to do more than put secret enchantments on his armour," she whispered softly before letting go.

"I know." He gathered up the armour and gestured to Cloud. "Thank you."

"Yes, thank you. It was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too, Cloud. Take care on your voyage."

"Secret enchantments?" Cloud asked as soon as the door had shut behind them.

Sephiroth laughed quietly. Of course Cloud had heard that. "I just had her put a couple extra things on. It's all pretty standard for higher ranked officers."

"What extra things? I'm not putting that on until I know, so you might as well tell me."

Sephiroth sighed. "She wouldn't have put any harmful enchantments on, you should know that. I asked her to add elemental resistances and a luck boost. The world's a bit strange right now, so I want you safe."

"Why did you try to keep it a secret?"

"Because you hate having things done for you, and I didn't want to argue about it."

"Oh. Yeah ... I suppose I do. You can take the cost out of my share of the treasure. I get a share, since I'll be fighting for you, right?"

"You don't need—" Sephiroth changed his mind; Cloud was painfully stubborn about things like this. "All right, it can come out of your share. I'll hold back half of what you earn until it's paid for."

"Deal."

Sephiroth nodded in satisfaction. It wasn't like Cloud would know how much it actually cost.

***

Cloud searched desperately for a place that was free of activity where he wouldn't be in the road. The ship was teeming with activity in the pre-dawn light. People were hoisting supplies up off the little boats and hauling them away to be taken below and lashed down. Others seemed to be climbing over every last inch of the rigging, double-checking everything.

He returned to the bowsprit and leaned against the railing, wishing that he hadn't had quite so much to drink the night before. He hadn't been able to get properly drunk in years, but he could still end up dehydrated and feeling hungover. It had been too awkward with all of his old friends there, however, and he had kept drinking in the hopes of making it feel less awkward,

"You there!" a large, heavily muscled man yelled, making him jump. "Quit lollygagging or I'll have you thrown off the ship as soon as we hit open water."

Cloud opened his mouth to try and explain, but Sephiroth had turned at the shout, and, after taking a moment to accept a small bundle from one of the sailors who was loading supplies, came over.

"He's not part of the crew, Falk. If you need him to move, ask politely, but you don't want him working on the ship."

"I'm not a sailor," Cloud assured the man.

"Aye, Captain." The man frowned, but turned and went back to directing the flow of activity.

"Falk is our Boatswain," Sephiroth explained. "He's in charge of all the deck activities, so if he asks you to do something, listen to him. I'll be meeting with the officers tonight and will explain who you are then. In the meantime, you're in charge of this." Sephiroth held out the covered basket the he had taken from the sailor earlier.

"What is it?" He took the basket and lifted the lid curiously. A tiny grey kitten was curled up in a blanket, sound asleep.

"She doesn't know and isn't quick enough to keep out of the way yet, so keep her out of trouble until she learns."

"I can probably do that, but aren't there already cats on the ship? How many do you need?"

"There can never be too many cats on a ship, and I thought you might like a new cat. They bring good luck."

"Still trying to help out with my bad luck?" Cloud asked, though he fully lifted the lid on the basket and gently rubbed his finger over the kitten's head. She lifted her head and began purring immediately.

"You need all the help you can get. All right, watch her, that's your job. Do you remember where my cabin is?" At Cloud's nod, he continued, "You'll be bunking with me–I've set up the hammock again, don't worry. There's nowhere else for you to bunk, really. Zack won't have you, and I doubt you'd want to sleep in Hojo's cabin."

"It's fine," Cloud said, "I don't mind. Sleeping in your cabin, that is. I don't want to be anywhere near Hojo."

"Okay, well, you're free to go there if things get too busy out here for you, but you should be out of the way up here. We'll be weighing anchor in an hour."

"Got it. Oh, does she have a name?"

"Not yet. Come up with something good." Sephiroth walked away, shouting something about rigging and tacking sails and a few other things Cloud didn't understand.

The kitten decided that she had slept long enough, and climbed out of the basket to sit in Cloud's lap and attack his fingers. Cloud kept an eye on her and prevented her from straying too far while he watched Sephiroth down below. He seemed to be moving all over the place, never staying in one spot for very long. He would pause to issue an order or ask a question, then he would be off again. Zack and Falk seemed to have more direct involvement in the activity, but Cloud could tell that Sephiroth was the final authority on board.

He thought back, trying to remember what Sephiroth had been like as a leader in SOLDIER. From what Sephiroth had told him, it didn't seem like they had actually interacted within Shinra, at least not until Nibelheim. As far as that mission went, things were still just as confused as they had been eight years ago. But even if he was still confused about whose memories were whose, it probably didn't matter. Up until everything went wrong, his memories agreed that Sephiroth had been a capable commander who cared about his troops.

"I'm going to have to ask Sephiroth to tell me about that, aren't I?" he asked the kitten, who had found a splinter of wood to bat around. The kitten looked up at the sound of his voice, then went back to ignoring him. "Yeah, I figured as much. I don't want to hear it, but I doubt I'll be able to move on until I know."

"Cat Master!" Falk's booming voice shouted nearby, and Cloud glanced around until he realized that the man was talking to him. "We're pulling out. Take your charge and get over to the quarter deck. You'll be out of the way there."

"Where is that?" Cloud asked as he scooped up the kitten and shoved shoved her back into the basket. He resolved to have Sephiroth at least explain the basic parts of the ship as soon as possible.

"Behind the mainmast—that big pole in the middle. Captain's up there, so just ask him where he wants you."

Cloud nodded and gathered up the basket, then set out in search of Sephiroth. He spotted him and Zack up on a raised deck that held the wheel and hoped it was what Falk had been talking about. Staying out of the way when he didn't know where out of the way might be was harder than he had expected.

"Cloud!" Sephiroth took his hand off the wheel and waved him over. "We'll be underway soon. You'll be fine up here for the remainder."

He noticed that there were actually two wheels, and that Sephiroth and Zack were each manning one. Curious as to why there would be two, and if they needed one person on each all the time, he added it to his mental list of questions to ask. For the time being, he sat down on a barrel and watched as the two men heaved on the wheels with rippling muscles. The anchors were up and the sails began to puff out as the ship slowly turned around.

"Did you name her yet?" Sephiroth asked once they were heading in a relatively straight line.

Cloud thought a moment before speaking the name that had been lurking at the back of his mind. "I'm going to call her Fenrir."

"Isn't Fenrir supposed to be a wolf? And male?"

"Yeah, but you gave me a female cat. By the way, could I get a lesson on the parts of the ship? Falk told me to go to the quarter deck, and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm an idiot now."

"That's because you are one," Zack said. He pushed a lever with his foot and a great amount of effort, then threw two loops of rope over the handles on the wheel, keeping it in place. "But congratulations, you managed to find the quarter deck."

"Hey, I'm trying," Cloud snapped. "There're probably plenty of things that I know and you don't, so—"

"Calm down, it was just a joke, you're all right." Zack sat down next to him and pointed up. "Mainmast." He jerked his thumb behind him. "Mizzenmast." Pointing forwards, "And foremast. Main deck is down there, forecastle is the deck forward of the foremast, poop deck extends from the mizzenmast aft."

"I think I can remember that."

"Good. In exchange, tell me about Fenrir. I assume it's some sort of Erathian myth?"

"Yeah, mostly from the northern parts. You like myths?"

"If they're interesting."

"Fair enough." Cloud smiled, and noticed Sephiroth glancing back at him with an encouraging smile of his own. He tried to tell the story the way his mother used to, weaving the tale of the terrible monster that even the gods feared. Zack was hanging on his every word, and when he ended it by telling of how Fenrir would break free and join the giants on the day of Ragnarok, Zack grinned at him.

"Quite a lot for a kitten to live up to," he said. "I've got work to do, but you'll have to tell me some more stories sometime. I want to hear about this Loki guy. Want me to send Chambers up to take over for you?" he asked Sephiroth as he climbed down to the main deck.

"When red watch starts; we're fine here until then."


	6. Chapter 6

Cloud settled into a routine fairly quickly. He learned how to keep out of the way, at least, and Fenrir soon became his confidant. The tiny kitten proved to be a good outlet for the thoughts that he couldn't share with anyone else, and that he didn't feel comfortable sharing with Sephiroth. Up in the forecastle, there was little risk of anyone overhearing him.

The crew didn't seem to know what to think of him, but Sephiroth assured him that would change once they saw some action. Everyone on board, and he assumed most of the rest of the fleet, knew that he had been Sephiroth's lover at one point. Smaller ships travelled between the big, slow ones carrying messages and news of what was happening in the fleet, so Cloud was certain that the rumours spread. He found that he didn't mind, however. The idea didn't seem as horrific to him as it initially had been, and he was growing to enjoy spending time in their cabin together.

Falk taught him how to tie a few knots, and he spent a part of his days making nets that could be thrown on top of boats attempting to board. Zack would come by and make disparaging comments about his nets until Cloud would tell him a story just to shut him up. Cloud griped a bit about it, but in truth, it was almost like having his old friend back.

Sephiroth's prediction about the weather was good, but in the late afternoon on their fourth day at sea, a cold rain began that made Fenrir meow at him pathetically. "It's just a bit of rain," he muttered as he tucked her into his shirt to keep her dry.

He stowed his rope and half-finished net, then headed for the officers' cabins just as the rain began to get really unpleasant. He was keeping his head down as he scampered down the steps, so it came as a surprise when he slammed into someone.

"Sorry! I'm really sorry, I wasn't—" Cloud froze when he looked up to see who he had run into. The man had a hooked nose, black hair tied back, and he peered over the top of his glasses with a sneer. "Looking."

"You're that man Sephiroth's taken in, aren't you?" the man asked. "Well, don't let me keep you. Go on, move!"

Cloud's legs moved robotically, and he stumbled to the side, catching himself on the railing. Hojo pushed past him, but looked back in a way that made Cloud's insides feel like they had turned to ice before he disappeared.

"Cloud? Hey, Cat Master! Are you alright?"

Cloud forced himself to look away from where Hojo had been and turned to face Zack. "Fine."

"Fuck that, you're soaked, and you don't even have to be. Where's your cat?"

Cloud gave his head a shake and withdrew Fenrir from his shirt. Bringing her out made no difference in how wet she was; the poor thing looked absolutely miserable. She sat limply in his hand.

"Get inside and get dried off, go on. The weather's only going to get worse tonight." Zack pushed him until he was inside, dripping everywhere. "Seriously, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Sephiroth's busy, isn't he?" Cloud roused himself out of his stupor well enough to find a rag to dry off Fenrir with.

"I'll get him."

"No—I don't want—"

"It's my job to take over when he's needed elsewhere. I'll get him." Zack was gone before Cloud could protest again, but he couldn't bring himself to go after him. Instead he continued to attempt to dry Fenrir until she swiped at him with her claws and jumped down with an angry hiss.

***

"Captain!" Zack shouted as he carefully made his way up the stairs to the quarter deck. "I think Cloud needs you. Something's got him really upset." He reached out to take the wheel, and Sephiroth handed it over.

"Alright, thanks. Call me if things get bad, but I don't expect it will."

"Aye, sir."

When he opened the door to the cabins, he saw Cloud leaning against the wall, staring blankly ahead. "Cloud?"

Cloud glanced up at him; his face was pale and his eyes were wide. "Fenrir's mad at me. I let her get wet."

Sephiroth nodded, assuming that wasn't actually what Zack had come to get him for. "You're a bit wet yourself. Why don't we go get dried off?"

"Okay," Cloud whispered, and Sephiroth took his shaking hand and led him into their cabin.

He got Cloud to strip and handed him a towel. It was the first time he had seen Cloud without his clothes since meeting him again, and he couldn't help but notice the number of scars that marred his once flawless skin. He recognized the multiple stab wounds from Masamune when he handed over a pair of dry pants. Cloud pulled them on and accepted the shirt that Sephiroth gave him, then sat on the bed looking lost.

"I saw him," he finally said in a barely audible voice. "Hojo. I didn't think I'd freeze up like that. I mean, I knew he was on the ship."

"Do you want me to transfer him to a different ship?" Sephiroth asked. He located Fenrir, who was looking rather bedraggled and scooped her up, placing her on Cloud's lap.

Cloud immediately began petting the kitten. "No. He should be here if he's the doctor. If someone got hurt and he wasn't here to help them ... it'd be bad."

"He tortured you, Cloud. For five years. There are other doctors on other ships that I can trade him for."

Cloud didn't say anything but lay down on the bed and curled up with Fenrir. "Maybe ... Can you tell me about Nibelheim?"

"Nibelheim?" Sephiroth caught the sudden tremble in his voice. He really didn't want to talk about Nibelheim and wondered why Cloud would want to hear about it when he was already upset.

"Not—not the ... incident. That's what they called it, right? But before. Can you tell me about the mission itself? I remember some stuff I did, and some stuff Zack did, but it's all messed up."

"Alright. I can probably do that." Sephiroth began to sit down on his hammock, but Cloud made a protesting noise and flapped his arm.

"You can sit over here." He patted the bed next to him.

"Are you sure?"

Cloud nodded and patted the bed again, so Sephiroth moved over and sat down. He put his feet up and leaned against the wall. Cloud shifted slightly so he was next to him, and rested his head on his chest. Fenrir was placed gently on his stomach, and Cloud wrapped his arm around her.

"Certain you want to hear about this?" Sephiroth asked, though he placed an arm around Cloud's shoulder and hugged him close.

"Just stop before the reactor, alright? I ... I want to know what you were thinking."

"What I was thinking ..." Sephiroth exhaled loudly. "I was thinking I didn't want you to go."

***

The wind was freezing when Sephiroth stepped out onto the roof. The first real cold snap of the winter had arrived with a vengeance. He shivered and wrapped his overcoat tightly around himself, hoping that Cloud hadn't been waiting for long. Although ... Sephiroth scanned the rooftop, he didn't appear to be out. Perhaps he was running late. Sephiroth walked over to the maintenance shed to wait; it would at least provide some shelter from the wind.

"Sephiroth!" Cloud sounded terrible, and Sephiroth quickly spotted him huddled by one of the vents. He was crouched down with his bare arms wrapped tightly around his knees.

"Where's your coat?" Sephiroth admonished him as he pulled his own coat off and wrapped tightly it around Cloud's shivering form before he had a chance to protest.

"Rules ch—changed. Not allowed out after dinner anymore without an excuse. They'll—they'll know that I'm going outside if I take it," Cloud said through chattering teeth. "Since we can't get out of the building, the only place left is the roof."

Sephiroth swore angrily and pulled Cloud up, hugging him close and rubbing him briskly to try to get him warmed up. He noticed that amid Cloud's red nose and blue lips, tears were frozen on his cheeks.

"I'll think of something ... a place where we can hide some warm clothes for you, maybe. In the meantime, I want you to come straight to my apartment instead of up here. Twenty-one hundred hours, I will be there, got it?"

Cloud nodded, but Sephiroth noticed the tears gathering in his eyes once again, threatening to spill over. Coming up with a plan to keep Cloud from freezing over winter would have to wait.

"Let's go inside, then. Come on." Still keeping his coat closed tightly around Cloud, they began the long walk down the stairs.

When Cloud was wrapped snugly in a wool blanket with Sephiroth's slippers on his feet and a mug of hot chocolate, Sephiroth broached the topic of Cloud's tears.

"What happened today?" he asked gently.

"I—I got orders. Cloud pulled a yellow piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Sephiroth.

He quickly unfolded it, wondering what the problem was. Cloud had been excited to begin going on missions as a full-fledged trooper, despite his disappointment about not making it into SOLDIER. His eyes fell on the mission's destination and he suddenly understood.

"I don't want to go back to Nibelheim. Not now. I can't!"

Sephiroth pulled Cloud into his arms, thinking back to the orders he had received earlier in the day. He had commented to Zack that he felt sorry for the troopers that would be assigned to it; the mission was going to be a long and difficult one, with a high risk of danger, especially to the unenhanced.

"Shh, I'll fight it. I'll do whatever I need to in order to get you out of it." Where he could even begin to fight the orders was another problem entirely, and not one that he would voice out loud. It would be suspicious, no matter how he went about it. He couldn't recall a time when he had ever even bothered to learn more than the troopers' names before they left on a mission.

"No," Cloud protested quietly, "you shouldn't. People will wonder."

"I know, but I don't want you to go either." A mission with Cloud would be too hard. One of the reasons Cloud was so precious to him was that he was something outside of his work. Sure, they talked about their jobs, but each of them had their own section of Shinra and they didn't mix. Going on a mission with Cloud meant seeing him in danger, and ... "I don't want to have to act like you're not special."

***

"I'm pretty sure you already know how my attempts at getting you off the mission turned out. There was no objective reason to ask for someone else; you were one of the best of the new troopers, and the brass argued that since you were from Nibelheim, you would be an even better asset. I hauled out your psychological assessment from when you tried for SOLDIER, and it killed me to have to try and argue that you were mentally weak and unfit for the mission, but I did." Sephiroth stopped talking and looked down at Cloud. His eyes were closed, and he had swung a leg over Sephiroth's.

"Am I talking for my own benefit?" Sephiroth asked quietly, not wanting to wake Cloud if he was sleeping.

"No, I'm listening. Just trying to remember."

"Any of it sound familiar?"

Cloud shook his head. "My memory says I was really excited for the mission. I think it's Zack's."

"Zack _was_ excited. He was thrilled that you were going with us, and angry with me for trying to prevent it. He didn't have a clue how terrified you were of going back to your hometown."

***

"What the hell, Sephiroth?" Zack shouted as he stormed into the office, tossing a set of forms onto the desk. "Why did you ask for someone to replace Cloud Strife on the mission?"

Sephiroth gritted his teeth, trying to hide his anger. He should have known that Zack would notice and interfere. "He's unfit. Look at his psychological profile. I don't want some kid who's going to have a nervous breakdown on a mission with me." The words were like knives in his gut as he spoke them, and he could only feel grateful that Cloud wasn't here to listen to them.

"He's a good kid," Zack protested. "He just needs a chance. He was bullied constantly the entire time he was a cadet, but he still pulled through and got top scores in nearly everything. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"No, the mission is what's important, and I feel that he'll jeopardize it."

Zack snatched the forms back up with a snarl. "I'm going over your head on this. Cloud deserves a chance."

Sephiroth watched helplessly as Zack walked away, probably heading straight for Heidegger's office. He knew that Heidegger would keep Cloud on the team, and that any further protests would just cause even more suspicion.

***

"I never knew that," Cloud commented. "I can't believe Zack went to so much effort for me, even though it was the complete opposite of what I wanted."

"He's a helpful sort of guy. But he really was fond of you. I was jealous of him, to be honest. He could be open about his affection for you, and I was stuck pretending that I didn't even know you."

"Was it really that hard?"

"You have no idea. The mission was awful right from the start. Zack took it upon himself to protect you from me, which meant that I had even less contact with you than I might otherwise have been able to pull off."

***

Zack glared at him every time he looked over at Cloud, a silent reminder that Zack had told him that he was free to completely ignore the new trooper. Cloud was sick from bouncing around in the back of the transport, and probably sick from the stress of returning home before he was ready as well. Every time Cloud retched, he had to fight to remain in his spot near the front. He was certain that if he could just go over there, he could at least provide some comfort. Cloud wouldn't worry so much if he was with him.

"Hey, Morgan, hand me that coat, would you?" Zack pointed at the overcoat that was next to Sephiroth.

Private Morgan jumped at Zack's orders, but balked at taking the coat. "Sir, do you mind?"

Sephiroth sighed and pushed himself up from his seat, picking up his coat. "I've got it. Sit back down." He walked over to Cloud and crouched down to lay the coat over his shoulders. "It won't be much longer," he said as gruffly as he could manage, and he used the opportunity to slip his hand under the coat and gently rub Cloud's back.

"I'm okay, sir, thank you." Cloud's fingers briefly brushed over his as he reluctantly stood again.

Zack was glaring again, so he quickly returned to his seat, but not before glancing back to see Cloud wrapping the coat tightly around himself. He wondered if Zack knew that it was his; Cloud certainly did.

***

"There was a dragon, right? I'm remembering that right, aren't I?" Cloud interrupted.

Sephiroth laughed and ruffled Cloud's hair. "So, I'm telling you the romantic story of how I gave you my coat and wished I could hold you while you were sick, and you want to hear about the dragon. Is that how it is?"

"You've got to admit, dragons are better than me barfing. And I mean, no one really wants to hear about how they got carsick all the time."

"Fair point," Sephiroth conceded. "Dragons _are_ quite exciting, and yes, you're remembering things right."

"Did I help fight it?"

"What do you remember?" He wondered if it might not hurt to let Cloud try to figure things out on his own.

"Uh, let me think." He remained quiet for a few minutes while he scratched under Fenrir's chin. "I remember it was you, me, and two troopers fighting it. So one of them must have really been me, and I was, well ... Zack."

When Cloud looked up at him, he nodded in confirmation. "You were feeling a bit better by the time we ran into the dragon, and you wanted to help."

"You hung back to let me–Zack, that is, have a chance to fight it. He was excited because he had never fought a dragon before. You know, now that I think about it, Zack's got a real penchant for violence."

"He does enjoy it," Sephiroth agreed.

"Zack got some really good hits in, and the troopers shot at its wings so it couldn't fly. So I guess I was one of the people shooting. I'm going to assume I hit it more than the other guy. Let's see ..." Cloud tapped Fenrir's nose making her blink and swat at him in annoyance. "You healed Zack, I remember that. He got hit by a claw or something and you were right there for him. I don't remember how it ended, though. Did Zack kill it?"

"No, I did."

***

Zack was up in an instant after the cure spell was cast, and he charged in again, screaming obscenities with his buster sword ready to swing. Sephiroth got to his feet just in time to see the dragon's tail swing around and clip one of the troopers, who was tossed like a doll into a tree and crumpled, unmoving at the bottom.

"Strife!" the other trooper yelled, putting a swift end to Sephiroth's hope that it had been the other one.

The dragon was merely an inconvenience between him and Cloud, and one blow from Masamune was all that was needed to bring it down. He ignored Zack's disappointed shout and focussed his attention on his fallen friend.

He pulled off Cloud's helmet and quickly checked his pulse. Finding nothing, he didn't hesitate to pull out a phoenix down.

"Is he hurt that badly?" Zack asked from behind him.

"No pulse and he's not breathing." He pressed the feather over where he should have been able to feel Cloud's heartbeat, then whispered, "Rise."

It was a tense few seconds while Sephiroth held his breath, waiting to see if the phoenix down would work. Just as he was about to try casting Life, the feather burst into flames and Cloud sucked in a great, gasping breath.

"Lie still," Sephiroth said calmly, holding Cloud down with one hand, "just concentrate on breathing. You're still badly hurt. Zack, help me get him into the truck." He scooped Cloud up and had Zack support his head as he carried him to the back of the truck. As soon as he was on the flat surface of the truck bed, Sephiroth stripped off his outer layers so he could check for any broken bones that would need to be set before he healed him.

"I'm sorry," Cloud whispered in a trembling voice.

"Nothing to be sorry for. It could have happened to anyone." Sephiroth fought to keep his voice even. Cloud was clearly in extraordinary amounts of pain and struggling to tough his way through it. "Your arm's broken. I want you to look at Zack and hold his hand with this arm." He tapped Cloud's good arm. "I'm going to set it on the count of three. One ... " He pulled hard until he felt the bone move back to where it was supposed to be. Cloud's scream pierced his ears, making him wince.

"Good job, Cloud, you're alright," Zack said as Cloud's scream died off to be replaced with sobs.

Sephiroth wasted no time in casting his most powerful cure spell, holding Cloud's arm carefully in place while he did so. Once he felt the bone knit itself back together, he breathed a sigh of relief. The damage to his torso appeared to have healed cleanly as well. "You're okay now," he said as he pulled Cloud's uniform back on. He grabbed the coat the Cloud had discarded when the dragon attacked and wrapped it around him, using the opportunity to hug him as discreetly as possible. "Are you still in any pain?"

Cloud shook his head and wiped his eyes. "Thank you."

"Okay, come sit up at the front near the heaters. Try and get some rest; we're nearly there."

He helped Cloud to his feet, but Zack took over and got him lying down in a semi-comfortable spot at the front. Sephiroth hung back as the truck pulled out, feeling certain that he shouldn't show any more concern for a trooper.

***

"I can't believe I died before we even started the mission. No wonder I never made SOLDIER."

"Don't be that way," Sephiroth said softly. "It was bad luck that the tail hit you."

Cloud snorted. "Bad luck again. Thanks for saving me, though. I bet Zack was shocked."

"He was a little bit. I think he kept expecting me to start berating you because I hadn't wanted you on the mission. Meanwhile I kept trying to come up with excuses so I could check on you and hold your hand. I should have just told him that we were friends. It would have been a lot simpler."

"He probably would have been happy for us. I remember he was all for friends. As long as we left out the part where you were having sex with your sixteen-year-old subordinate, it probably would have worked out just fine."

Sephiroth winced internally. In hindsight, it sounded absolutely terrible, and it probably had been, but it had been a way for both of them to find happiness in an unhappy situation. He certainly hadn't ever meant to take advantage of Cloud. "Out of curiosity, how are you doing with that?"

"The idea isn't as horrible as it was. It's kind of weird to think about, if only because I was so young at the time. If you acted then the way you've been now, I can see why I fell for you."

Sephiroth found himself smiling a bit; that was almost an admission that Cloud was falling for him again. Their closeness at the moment seemed to indicate that that was the case. "I'm glad it's not quite so horrible to think about."

"How old was I when we first had sex?"

"Actual penetrative intercourse?" Sephiroth asked to clarify.

"Uh, yeah, that's what I meant. Was there some other sort of intercourse?" Cloud looked up at him with a confused expression.

"We engaged in non-penetrative sex for quite some time before you were comfortable with going further, yes. As for how old you were ... fifteen, nearly sixteen. A few months before your SOLDIER exam."

"That seems so young, but I guess it wasn't really. There was a girl in Nibelheim who got pregnant just before I left. She was the same age as me. Holy shit!" Cloud sat bolt upright causing Fenrir to grumble discontentedly.

"What is it?"

"You're the only person I've ever had sex with."

"Really?" Sephiroth found that idea intriguing. "You mean you haven't been with anyone since?"

Cloud shrugged and settled back into his spot. "I guess there's the possibility that I forgot, but I don't think so. I never ... I was in the lab, then we were too busy trying to stop you, though I did almost end up married to Don Corneo while attempting to rescue Tifa. Then after we beat you, I took off on my own to try and sort things out, and then you came back and I had to clean up that mess ... Finding a partner wasn't really a priority, and no one ever struck my fancy. It's funny, though, I also never thought that I was a virgin."

"Are you going to take it the wrong way if I say that I like the idea that no one else has touched you?"

Sephiroth felt Cloud laughing silently against his side. "Are going to make me forget you said it if I say I will?"

"Well how about this, do you like the idea that no one else has touched me?"

"Seriously!?" Cloud flung himself upright again, and Fenrir jumped down from the bed with an angry flick of her tail.

Sephiroth nodded calmly. "I grew up fearing my body. You were the first person I felt comfortable exploring it with, and after you were gone ... I only ever wanted you."

"I–I–but you're _Sephiroth_. Everyone wanted to have sex with you."

"I rather doubt that. Besides, you were the one I loved. Come on, lie back down again." Sephiroth patted the spot next to him.

Cloud gave himself a shake, then glanced out the window. There wasn't much to see outside, but the rain was still lashing against the pane. "Are you going to have to go out soon to keep us from capsizing or something?"

"It's highly unlikely. If Zack can't keep things under control, it's doubtful I'd do better."

"Then shimmy down. You'll get a crick in your neck if you sleep like that."

Sephiroth didn't argue and immediately moved himself down so he could stretch out fully. "Tired?"

"Yeah." He reached over and turned down the lamp, then settled himself next to Sephiroth, pulling the blanket over them. They were probably already closer than was necessitated by the small bed, but Sephiroth shuffled a little bit closer anyway.

"Come on, Fenrir, I won't bother you anymore." Cloud thumped Sephiroth's chest as an invitation.

"Sleep well, Cloud."

"You too. Goodnight." After a few moments of silence, Cloud spoke again. "I like the idea a little."

Sephiroth smiled to himself and sought out Cloud's hand under the blanket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always liked the part in the game where you’re doing the dragon fight flashback and Sephiroth will just chill and watch Zack and the others fight it while tossing out heals as necessary. I think it shows some good insight into what he was like before all the crazy.


End file.
